


every little thing is gonna be alright

by thescrewtapedemos (orphan_account)



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Fingering, Dom/sub Undertones, Fluff, M/M, Marijuana, Oral Sex, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Overstimulation, Panic Attacks, Phone Sex, Pining, Praise Kink, Semi-Public Sex, warning for some grade anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-03-29 20:01:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3908749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/thescrewtapedemos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh is kinda stoned, Tyler is kinda broken, and this is the start of something kinda beautiful. AKA the stoner au that absolutely no one asked for.<br/>(the chapters are all connected drabbles and are out of order. the chapters are numbered in the title in the order they should be read in! sorry for any confusion)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. three

**Author's Note:**

> once upon a time i texted the bae like 'talk to me about stoner josh' and lo, this was born. most likely a bunch of connected drabbles because i have no self control.

Josh doesn’t think Tyler and he are friends, exactly. 

Friends hang out and do things, he’s pretty sure. At least, in his experience, which is decent but admittedly not exhaustive. But they are biology partners, and Tyler knows where Josh lives because of their biology project. So it’s not like, _completely_ impossible when Josh opens his front door to find Tyler, bouncing in place and glancing furtively over his shoulder like he’s scared there’s someone after him. Just, y’know, completely unlikely and kind of surprising. 

As soon as he hears the door open Tyler jerks around to face Josh again. He pushes inside without waiting to be asked, brushing past Josh wordlessly, barely pausing to kick off his shoes before stepping jerkily through towards Josh’s room.

Josh isn’t high _exactly_ , he’d been two hits into his first bowl when he’d heard the doorbell ringing, but he’s definitely too high to do more than blink slowly at his porch steps for a moment, bemused.

He’s not a Tyler-expert – not yet, his traitor brain informs him – but he’s pretty sure Tyler’s eyes had been red-rimmed and that can’t have been good. The expression on Tyler’s face, twisted up and distant, doesn’t bode well.

He follows Tyler up to his room, nudging open the cracked door and leaning against the wall next to the doorway.

Tyler’s standing by the bed, eyeing the pipe Josh had left on the bedside table to answer the door, so rigid with tension he’s practically vibrating. He still looks all wrong, pale except for two feverish spots of bright pink high on his cheeks. His lips look bitten to hell, and not in a sexy way.

Josh’s dick tries sluggishly to disagree with that idea. Josh does his best to ignore that.

“Are you, are you high?” Tyler asks, voice fluttering like it does when he's nervous or stressed. It’s the first words he’s said since he showed up at Josh’s house and he seems to realize it, stuffing his hands in his pockets and jerking around to face him. Josh blinks slowly.

“Little bit,” he says agreeably and watches as Tyler looks away, back at the pipe. Almost wistfully. 

“Do you mind if I stay here?” Tyler asks. “Just for, you know, a bit?”

He won’t meet Josh’s eyes and Josh wonders, suddenly worried, what had happened. Because they really _aren’t_ friends, at least not the kind of friends that show up without asking first, and it’s not like Josh minds exactly. It’s just, he wants to help and he doesn’t know how. 

He doesn’t really have a choice though when Tyler looks so gutted, so obviously hurting. He steps over to Tyler and nudges his arm until Tyler looks up. His eyes are definitely red, red like he’s been trying not to cry. Josh smiles the sunniest smile he can and bobs his head over towards his Xbox.

“Halo?” he asks. The smile Tyler gives him back, watery and thin but making a valiant effort, is totally worth it.

They end up settled on the floor at the foot of Josh’s bed, Halo on low volume and lowest difficulty. Tyler hasn’t relaxed still, still rigid with tension and expression so fragile when Josh glances over. He dies often and for the stupidest reasons and eventually Josh can’t take the silence anymore. He’s either too high or not high enough for this.

“Want to talk about it?” he asks quietly. He doesn’t stop playing while he says it but Tyler does. He freezes, controller twisting in his hands as he fidgets.

“It’s, uh, it’s nothing,” he lies, so obviously Josh doesn’t know why he bothered in the first place.

“Pretty sure it’s not,” Josh says.

Tyler shrugs, a quick jerk of his shoulders that looks almost painful.

“I failed a test,” he says quietly.

Josh is kind of surprised. He’d expected something worse, something really, really bad like his dog had died or his parents were getting divorced or something. He blinks at Tyler, who luckily isn’t looking at him. He’s staring down at his hands, fisted viciously tight around the controller in his lap.

“I was writing instead of studying, I just, I had something in my head, you know?” his head comes up and Josh feels his chest ache at the expression on his face. It’s sick and twisted up. “I knew I should have studied, I mean, but I had to, there was just-,”

He cuts himself off with a jerk of his head, breathing rapid and shallow for a few moments.

“I’m shit,” Tyler begins again and laughs quietly, a bark of air that carries absolutely no mirth. “I’m the worst, oh my god, you’re being, being so nice and I can’t even, _fuck_.”

“You’re not the worst,” Josh says sharply.

Tyler’s dropped his controller, is curled so tightly into himself it’s barely not a fetal position. He’s clutching at his hair so hard his knuckles are white and he’s shaking, genuinely shaking. Josh doesn’t think he’s ever seen someone go so white, bloodlessly pale, eyes dark and stark against his skin. He’s not looking at Josh so much as through him and out the other side.

“I am,” he whispers. “I’m awful. It’s just a stupid test, it was just a _test_ , why can’t I get _over_ this, why am I so _awful_?”

Josh stares, mouth opening and nothing coming out. His thoughts are moving sluggishly and he wishes he hadn’t taken a single hit that day, the he was sober enough to come up with the right thing to say.

“I’m just, just, so worthless, god,” Tyler mutters, to himself more than anything. He doesn’t even seem to notice that Josh is there anymore.

Suddenly Josh is angry. Thick anger at what Tyler is saying, at Tyler’s brain for doing – whatever it is that’s making him do this to himself, at Josh himself for being useless. It’s hot in his head, and hard to move through with the cloud of intoxication, and he’s up on his knees before he can think. He towers over Tyler’s curled-up body like this.

“Shut up,” he says. His voice comes out tight and controlled, not at all the messy sprawl of his thoughts. “Stop talking.”

Tyler’s head comes up and he stares at Josh for a long beat, mouth open. Long enough for Josh to realize what he’d said, to begin to seriously regret his words. Stupid, _stupid_ , presumptive and kind of rude and-

Tyler’s mouth snaps shut and his knees drop a little. Not a lot, just enough to no longer be a fetal curl. He stares at Josh and Josh sits back on his heels with a huff.

“Just, you’re not a bad person, you’re not, fuck,” Josh sighs and rubs at his eyes with his fingers. “You’re not worthless.”

Tyler nods mutely and Josh drops back to sit against the bedframe. His head is swimming a little bit. He wants another hit but he picks up the controller instead, restarting the game since both of their characters have been killed. There’s adrenaline surging through his system, making his fingers clumsy on the controller.

It takes him a couple of minutes to realize Tyler isn’t playing, since he’d been so bad before it didn’t really make a difference in their score.

He glances over.

Tyler’s watching him still.

His eyes are big and dark, arresting Josh in place. He looks better, a million times better. Color is returning to his cheeks, healthy pink instead of the patchy flush of before. His hands are in his lap, fingers twisted together nervously, but it’s _normal_ nerves for Tyler and Josh is struck for a moment by the knowledge that he knows Tyler well enough now to say what is and isn’t normal for him.

Tyler’s mouth is tight shut, teeth sunk into his bottom lip, and Josh’s dick makes itself known with a jerk.

“You okay?” Josh asks and his voice cracks like a total loser. He hates himself and his dick like, a lot.

Tyler bobs a nod, eyes still dark. It’s hard to tell, with the light in Josh’s room and Tyler’s eye color, but his pupils look enormous. He doesn’t say a word and belatedly Josh remembers his own words, what he’d said in that thick rush of anger.

“You don’t, uh, you can talk?” he says, voice cracking _again_ , Christ.

Tyler hesitates. His hand comes up to touch his mouth and Josh’s dick jumps again. Slowly Tyler shakes his head, offering Josh a shaky smile. His eyes are still so dark.

“Okay,” Josh says quietly. “You want to not talk?”

Tyler nods and Josh exhales. It comes out shaking and he really hopes Tyler doesn’t look down at his lap because he’s half-hard already and the more he thinks about it the more he wants to excuse himself to go jerk off in the bathroom for the next _forever_.

Fucking hell, Tyler staying quiet for Josh. Wordless, soundless even. Just because Josh had said so, and he’s doing so good too.

He doesn’t excuse himself. He hasn’t forgotten what Tyler had come here for, a place to get out of his head, and he’s not going to involve his dick in that. Josh isn’t, after all, a total asshole. If whatever fucked up – fucking hot – thing that had just happened was what helped Tyler, that was fine with Josh.

Josh nudges the controller over to Tyler and smiles his best ‘I am absolutely not turned on to the point of desperation’ smile.

“Don’t talk, then,” he says, and valiantly ignores the jump in his dick when Tyler nods. “You should still play, though, we’re getting our asses handed to us.”

Hours later and a notable lack of improvement of skill on Tyler’s part later, Tyler’s phone rings. He still hasn’t said a word, has barely made a sound, and Josh is still so hard he thinks it’s about to become his permanent state of being.

Tyler glances at Josh nervously as he shuffles his phone out of his pocket and Josh realizes he’s gonna have to talk to answer it. It occurs to him that Tyler’s asking _permission_ to talk, which is approximately the hottest thing to ever happen to anyone in the history of probably ever.

“You can talk now,” he says. His voice cracks through. Tyler doesn’t appear to notice, grinning gratefully and thumbing the answer call button.

“Hi mom,” he says, and his voice is hoarse. “Yeah, I’m okay. I’m at a friend’s house.”

Josh grins stupidly at that. Friends, huh? He can work with that.

“Uh huh, I’ll head back,” Tyler continues. “Love you too, bye.”

He ends the call and glances sidelong at Josh. His eyes are still dark but he’s smiling a little bit, his color is good, his shoulders are loose and relaxed. Something tense in Josh relaxes and he grins with relief. Probably dorky-wide but whatever. He’s hardly the only weirdo in the room.

“I have to go,” Tyler says. His voice is still hoarse.

“Okay,” Josh says and stares at him for a long moment. He can’t get the grin off his face.

Tyler laughs suddenly, a snorting bark that’s too dorky to be anything but genuine. Josh wants to kiss him. It’s the worst.

“I want to thank you,” Tyler says. “Is that, uh, is that weird? It’s weird, isn’t it.”

“I think the whole thing is kind of really weird,” Josh says honestly. “But like, that’s okay.”

“It’s okay?” Tyler’s hands twist a little in his lap. “I mean, are we gonna make this weird?

“It’s okay weird,” Josh decides and nudges at Tyler’s shoulder a little bit. “S’only gonna be weird if you make it weird, bro. You should probably get going before your mom arrests me for kidnapping though.”

“She would never,” Tyler says, sounding halfway between genuinely affronted and laughing. He struggles to his feet, swaying a little bit.

Josh takes his time getting up, waiting for Tyler to turn his back to look for his keys so he can adjust his dick in his pants. It takes everything he has not to palm his cock, still so hard. He barely gets it situated more or less unobtrusively before Tyler’s turning back around.

Josh escorts him to the door and there’s a long moment where they hover awkwardly before Josh holds out a fist solemnly to be bumped. Tyler does it with great gravity, flourishing as he does, and Josh feels his heart flutter a little bit. A soft, easy rush of affection that has nothing to do with his dick.

 _Fuck_ , he thinks.

“See you in biology,” he says with a grin.

“See you!” Tyler says, grinning cheerfully. He’s bouncing a little as he walks away and Josh watches him until he gets to his car before turning away and heading back into the house.

He walks right to his bedroom, locks the door, and jerks off for a solid hour to the memory of Tyler’s eyes so dark and wide, his bitten mouth, his obedient silence. He comes three times and only stops because his mom calls him down for dinner.


	2. four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> baby's first high, baby's first kiss. blame this on [intothefields](http://archiveofourown.org/users/intothefields)

“So I hold this, and then, uh, I inhale?” 

Tyler’s fingers are skittish on the glass of Josh’s pipe, thin and white and somehow conveying an impression of nerves even when still. Josh eyes them nervously. His pipe is kind of his baby and he trusts Tyler, he _does_ , just maybe not with holding things when he’s so frazzled. 

“I mean, kind of?” he says belatedly, realizing he was supposed to say something. “Then you let go and breathe more.” 

Tyler blinks at him, then down at the pipe dubiously. 

“Trust me,” Josh coaxes, smiling his most trustworthy smile when Tyler looks back at him. 

They’re apparently the magic words, the tiny crease of a frown smoothing away from between Tyler’s eyebrows. He smiles back at Josh, blindingly sweet and guileless. 

“’Course I do,” he says. Josh reminds his heart to continue beating and wrests the pipe from Tyler’s unresisting fingers. 

“Here, I’ll pack a bowl and then you can see me do it,” he offers. 

Tyler bobs a nod and shuffles forward on his knees to watch Josh dig his stash out of the bottom drawer of his nightstand. It’s decent stuff; it’s Tyler’s _first time_ , he deserves nothing better. Josh does his best to ignore Tyler’s proximity as he packs the bowl. He doesn’t succeed very well. 

They’re in Josh’s room, sitting on his bed. Josh’s mom is out doing PTA or something equally mom-like and his siblings are too busy doing their own thing to bother them. They’re pretty much guaranteed a day of nothing at all except introducing one Tyler Joseph to the joys of recreational marijuana usage. It’s not exactly dangerous territory, and yet Josh is having a hard time breathing. 

It’s just, Tyler is sitting _very_ close and he’s _very_ cute and it’s not like Josh is made of stone. Far from it, he’s a fucking teenage boy. He considers himself very lucky if there’s a day when he _doesn’t_ pop a boner at inopportune moments. 

Josh finishes packing his bowl and hopes Tyler doesn’t ask why he’s suddenly bright red. 

“You hold it like this,” he says quickly, holding up the pipe so Tyler can see. Tyler nods, attention rapt on Josh’s hand. “And then you do this.” 

Toking is second nature to Josh now but he goes slow and only takes a little hit in deference to teaching Tyler. When he comes up, feeling the familiar, comforting burn in his lungs, Tyler is looking at the pipe in his hand with his head cocked. 

“Like that,” Josh says, letting the smoke leak out with his words. Tyler watches it with a tiny, amazed smile that Josh has to echo. 

“My turn?” Tyler asks a beat later, offering an open hand in the pipe’s direction. He looks more sure of himself, more interested than anxious, and Josh hands the piece over with little worry. 

Tyler’s hands on the pipe, nervous but determined, make Josh smile. He takes the hit inexpertly but he doesn’t try for too much and he doesn’t cough more than a little bit and he holds it for a decent amount of time. He grins proudly when he finally lets the smoke stream out and Josh ruffles his hair happily. 

“Quit it,” Tyler protests laughingly, and hands the pipe back over. 

“I’m proud, man, baby’s first hit,” Josh says, grinning madly, and takes his hit while Tyler rolls his eyes. He’s still grinning hugely though so Josh doesn’t bother feeling bad. 

They pass the pipe back and forth a few times, time rapidly growing hazier and harder to follow. Tyler increases the size of his hits slowly and Josh watches as he sinks into the high with a grace he’s surprised to see. Tyler takes to it better than nearly anyone he’s seen. 

There’s only a couple of hits left, an hour later. 

Josh considers the bowl for a couple of minutes, ashing and packing a new one, but decides not to waste the weed. Josh isn’t like, _made_ of money. He passes it back over to Tyler and watches lazily as his takes his biggest hit yet. 

Belatedly he realizes he probably should have warned Tyler about the ash. 

There’s a moment, a long moment when the smoke is leaking from Tyler’s red mouth in thick white ribbons, his eyes half-closed, cheeks flushed. 

A moment where Josh can’t breathe, can’t move, can’t do anything but stare. Stare, and the thought comes to Josh that _he’s so beautiful_. So beautiful in the noon sunlight, pipe and lighter in his awkwardly elegant fingers, cross-legged on Josh’s bed. Lit up from behind by the sun and so fragile-looking, more fragile than the glassware in his hand. 

His mouth probably tastes like smoke, Josh realizes, and he aches to reach out and touch. 

Then Tyler is coughing, thrusting the pipe haphazardly to Josh who barely manages to stop it from dropping embers all over his blanket. He’s bright red, clutching at his chest with one hand. Honestly he looks kind of hilarious, bug-eyed and sweating a little bit, red with the effort of trying to suppress his coughing. 

Josh starts laughing and has to set the pipe down on the table before _he_ ends up setting the bed on fire. Tyler glare at him through his convulsive coughing, looking so affronted it sets Josh off all over again. 

“You suck,” Tyler huffs when he’s gotten his breath back and Josh has calmed down marginally. 

“Take the last hit,” Josh suggest cheerfully and settles back against the headboard. The high is threading its way through his head, a soft filmy feeling smudging the edges of his vision and blunting his thoughts down to their basics. Tyler looks more sober but only just, his eyes unfocused, cheeks blushing soft pink. 

Tyler takes the pipe and tokes silently, holding this hit better than the last. When he finally exhales, slow and steady streams of smoke, Josh reaches out to pass his fingers through it. It eddies around his fingertips and he plays with the rapidly dissipating smoke for a moment. 

Tyler’s hand catches Josh’s and for a split second his heart stops dead in his chest, a beat of surprise and heady affection caught in his chest. It resumes a moment later but he’s left with the rush in his veins, the gauzy flutter in his ribs that has nothing to do with muscle or blood and everything to do with Tyler’s expression as his fingertips slide over the back of Josh’s hand. 

Surprised, a little bit. Enthralled. Like Josh’s hand is the most fascinating thing he’s ever seen. 

He doesn’t let go, fingers wandering over Josh’s palm and the gaps in his fingers, slipping down to brush purposefully over the bones of his wrist. He touches the soft skin of his inner wrist so delicately it echoes through Josh’s whole body. 

He feels himself slide down the headboard and doesn’t bother to prop himself up, sliding down until he’s lying down on his side curled toward Tyler. Who still hasn’t let go of his hand, still playing light fingertips over his forearm. He’s staring at Josh’s skin like he’s never seen skin before. 

Josh smiles at his expression. His cock is heavy between his legs, most of the way to hard, pressing against the material of his jeans. Every time Tyler moves his fingers on Josh’s skin his dick jerks. It’s not insistent yet, though. Mostly a distant pulse of arousal through his stomach, coloring the air. 

“You have really nice hands,” Tyler whispers to him. 

“Thanks,” Josh whispers back hazily. “You do too.” 

For some reason Tyler laughs at that, a gentle giggle that Josh has to echo until they’re both laughing at nothing at all. It feels so good, and Tyler still has Josh’s hand, almost like they’re holding hands. 

Josh is pretty sure it’s the happiest he’s ever been in his entire life. Not that he can remember much of his life right now, but he has the feeling. 

“You should-,” Josh begins, meaning to say that Tyler should join him in lying down because it’s just so _comfortable_. The words don’t come, though, and Tyler’s left making confused faces until Josh gives up on vocalization and just pulls his hand out of Tyler’s grip. He feels a little pang at that but he ignores it, grabbing Tyler’s waist and flipping him bodily to lay down. 

Tyler squeaks with surprise and comes within centimeters of batting Josh in the face with a flailing hand but they manage alright, ending up nose to nose, toes nudging each other. 

Josh starts laughing this time, at the bewildered expression on Tyler’s face. His whole face is scrunched up and he’s blinking slowly, taking in his new position with stoned slowness. Tyler joins his laughter, face scrunching up even _more_ , and there’s another moment where Josh is struck by how beautiful Tyler is. 

He’s pink-faced, has a hand tucked under his cheek, eyes bright with joy. The sunlight is warm in thick golden bars across his body and belatedly Josh realizes he still has a hand on Tyler’s hip. Tyler’s warm under his fingers, radiating heat and it’s so incredibly easy to slip his fingertips up an inch under Tyler’s shirt to brush against skin. 

Tyler’s laughter stops and Josh looks back at him. 

He’s staring at Josh with dark eyes and he’s still smiling. He’s still beautiful, and Josh wants to kiss him so badly, and suddenly he can’t remember why he shouldn’t. 

Tyler makes a soft little noise when Josh pressing his lips to Tyler’s. Surprise, and something else. Josh’s cock throbs at the sound but he’s more interested in kissing Tyler for the moment. 

His mouth is soft, so soft. It feels like heaven, so soft and so gentle and everything that Josh imagined but a million times better. He couldn’t have imagined the slight roughness of chapped skin, the slight metallic taste, the pure pleasure when Tyler begins to kiss back. He tastes like smoke when Josh lets his tongue flick out just a little bit, just enough to brush Tyler’s lower lip.

Tyler gasps and his mouth opens, soft air fanning warm across Josh’s cheeks. 

Josh pulls back a little bit. He’s dizzy with how hard he is, with pot, with Tyler. He wants another kiss, wants to kiss Tyler until their mouths are slick, until he can’t remember anything except how to keep kissing Tyler. He can’t stop grinning like a fool, stupidly happy. There’s something giddy in his chest, spinning and rushing through him. 

Tyler stares at him when they break apart. His pupils are huge and liquid-dark. 

“Josh, Josh, what?” he asks, and he’s smiling too, madly. Josh doesn’t read any rejection in it, and his hand is still on Tyler’s hip and Tyler hasn’t tried to remove it. 

“I don’t know,” he says, pressing forward until his nose brushes Tyler’s. Tyler giggles breathlessly and his hand comes up tentatively to slide down Josh’s cheek. It ends up settled against his chest, the lightest touch that still sends a shiver down Josh’s spine. They lay like that for a minute, two, smiling like idiots and occasionally nudging a little bit so their noses bump. 

“I’m really tired,” Tyler confides eventually. 

He’s not lying, and Josh can tell. His eyelids are drooping. Josh feels pretty sleepy himself, despite it being only three or so in the afternoon. 

“Wanna sleep?” he asks, and yawns almost as an afterthought. 

Tyler nods an answer, eyes closing already. 

The sunlight is warm enough Josh doesn’t bother with a blanket, just shuffling his hair out of his eyes and watching Tyler fall asleep for a moment. It’s silent in the room except for their breathing and the thick giddy feeling his chest has yet to fade. If anything, it’s settled in, made itself at home right next to Josh’s heartbeat. He smiles sleepily to himself as he drifts off himself. 

He doesn’t remember why he had been nervous to kiss Tyler at all.


	3. one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the first time they meet and talk!! aw. so this takes place before either of the previous two drabbles, in case that isn't obvious. these aren't going to be in any particular order because! i have no self control. 
> 
> also, if there's anything in particular you want to hear about leave a comment about it and who knows? i may end up writing a drabble about it!

“I don’t always smoke at school but when I do it’s under the bleachers like a fucking teen movie cliché,” Brendon intones. 

Josh giggles and Spencer swats Brendon lazily on the back of the head, stealing the joint from his lax fingers in the same motion. He takes a hit with a gracefully arched eyebrow, hip cocked like he isn’t so high he’s inches from falling over if he tries to move too fast. It’s ridiculously smooth and Josh spends a moment abjectly envious of Spencer’s ability to be cool while stoned off his ass. This is their second joint in twenty minutes, after all, and while none of them are even close to lightweights that’s still a _hell of a lot_ of weed. 

It’s kind of part of his Spencer-aura though, all ice-cold calm and ruthlessly deadpan humor. Josh doesn’t know if he’s ever seen Spencer more worked up than mildly annoyed, and might admit in the privacy of his own head that he’s a _little_ scared of him. Just a little though. Brendon’s loveable douche personality kind of blunted any real sense of danger. 

“ _You’re_ the only teen movie cliché I see here,” Spencer says coolly, smoke leaking from his mouth with every word. 

“Dude, _weak_ ,” Brendon whines, making grabby motions at the joint. Spencer ignores him and passes it over to Josh. 

“I’m pretty okay with being the quirky philosophical stoner,” Josh says thoughtfully, and takes a hit. “I’d rather be an action hero though, probably,” he continues a minute later, passing the joint back to Spencer and bypassing Brendon’s increasingly loud noises of fake desperation. “Fighting dinosaurs on a skateboard would be fucking _sick_.” 

“Rocket skateboard,” Brendon puts in with a sage nod. Spencer takes a hit and finally passes the joint to him. 

The noise Brendon makes when he finally gets it is kind of hilarious, a pathetic, indecent little whine of happiness that cuts off as he takes the biggest hit he can fit in his lungs. 

As Brendon does a grin that crosses Spencer face that’s a little too sincere, a ruthful little smile tucked into the corners of his mouth, entirely too soft. Josh eyes him until Spencer catches him at it and the smile vanishes like it hadn’t existed, to be replaced with a sarcastic eye-roll. 

“Don’t smoke it all, douchebag,” he says easily to Brendon, who flips him off. “What would you fight with?” 

“…Huh?” Josh asks, mystified. 

Spencer snorts out a giggle, one of the only signs so far that he’s as stoned as the rest of them. 

“The dinosaurs,” he clarifies, still fighting the giggles. He’s a lot less intimidating when he’s pink in the face with laughter, Josh discovers. “What’d you fight them with?”

Josh pauses to think about it. He’s concerned to realize he doesn’t really have any martial arts skills that don’t involve hitting drums with sticks. 

“Fuck, man, I don’t know. What would you use?” he says at last. 

“Taser,” Spencer says immediately and the smile that crosses his face is distressingly eager. “One of the really long ones with like, _lethal_ voltage.”

“Dude,” says Josh, mildly disturbed. 

“Spencer has a fetish for stun-guns and shit,” Brendon volunteers breezily. “I found him reading a catalogue of them with his hand down his pants like, three times.” 

“ _Dude_ ,” Josh repeats, slightly more disturbed. Spencer growls and punches Brendon so hard in the hip he doubles over, clutching the spot Spencer punched and cursing loudly. Hastily Josh rescues the joint from falling from his hand. 

“He’s a liar, I don’t jerk off to Tasers,” Spencer says impatiently, over Brendon’s cursing. 

“Um.” 

At the sound of the new voice the three of them spin. 

The newcomer’s hovering awkwardly by the corner pole of the bleachers, too close to mistake the joint in Josh's hand for anything but what it is. There’s a soccer ball in his hands and he’d obviously just chased the runaway ball from the open door of the distant gym. He seems ridiculously familiar but Josh is just _too stoned_ and he can’t do anything but stare stupidly at him. 

“Hi,” Brendon chirps, straightening up from his crouched position with a jerk and promptly almost falling over. 

“Uh,” the dude replies. He’s staring at them with eyes so wide Josh can see their color from where he’s standing. They’re brown, he decides, mostly brown. Maybe a little hazel. He looks so _familiar_. 

And also kind of cute, _not_ that Josh is noticing. 

They’re frozen for a beat, examining each other across the five feet of pavement separating them. 

“How are you?” Spencer asks conversationally after long enough has gone past for it to get really, incredibly awkward. The dude jerks in place, blinking rapidly like he’d been zoning out as much as Josh had been. 

“I’m, um,” he says, and coughs nervously. “I’m good. Are you guys…?” 

“Smoking up?” Brendon volunteers cheerfully. “Blazing it? Making friends with Mary Jane?” 

“Uh,” the dude says, eyes wider than ever. 

“Going for a four-twenty break, grazing the grass, taking the high way-,” Brendon continues, grinning madly. 

“Shut up, Brendon,” Spencer says, rolling his eyes. “We get that you’re a massive fucking stoner, Christ.” 

“-We are indeed partaking of the medicinal herbs,” Brendon concludes solemnly. 

“Right,” the dude says. He sounds faint with shock. 

“Ignore him, we all do,” Josh puts in helpfully, elbowing Brendon and stepping forward a little to block his direct access to traumatizing the poor dude. “He’s a douche.” 

“Cool,” the dude says faintly over Brendon’s affronted noise. 

Another awkward silence falls. 

“I’m Josh,” josh volunteers at last, for something to say. 

“I know,” the dude says and smiles a little bit. “I’m Tyler, we have uh, Biology together?” 

Abruptly Josh recalls what he remembers Tyler from. The cute, quiet member of the little basketball-jock squad that sat on the opposite side of the back of the room from him, the one that Josh had been kind of eyeing on and off for weeks. The object of his almost-not-really-but-actually-really-yeah crush. Who has now caught him smoking up under the bleachers. 

Fuck. 

Josh is suddenly embarrassingly grateful for the stoned flush in his cheeks, hiding his blush. 

“I’m Brendon, and this is Spencer,” Brendon puts in, rescuing Josh from himself. “Now we’re all friends! Want a hit?” 

He waves helpfully to the joint burning down in Josh’s fingers. Dizzily Josh considers taking a hit and decides it’s probably a _very_ bad idea. Now that he’s remembered who Tyler is he’s having trouble _not_ noticing how cute he is. Which is very cute. 

Very, very cute. 

_Fuck._

“Isn’t that, um, illegal?” Tyler asks, breaking the downward spiral of Josh’s thoughts. He sounds more nervous than ever and Josh elbows Brendon again. 

“Only a little bit,” Spencer says lazily, threading a hand through Brendon’s collar and pulling him back out of range of Josh’s elbows. “But you should take a hit, though.” 

“I can’t do that,” Tyler says, backing up a step. “I’m on the basketball team and it’s like, super important, I need it to get scholarships and stuff, and if the coach even like, _suspected_ I was using marijuana I’d get kicked off _instantly_ and, oh god, my mom would be so disappointed in me-,” 

“It’s chill dude,” Josh interrupts, smiling reassuringly when Tyler pauses for breath. “You don’t have to. It’s alright.” 

Tyler smiles back at him, wide and sweet and, fuck, _grateful_ , what the hell, and Josh loses every atom of oxygen in his body. Sucked out of him just like that, in a rush of adrenaline and stupid stomach butterflies. He wishes, instantly and intensely, that he weren’t quite so stoned. 

“Thanks, dude,” he says. Josh can’t talk, what with his lungs being nonfunctional, but he managed a light-headed nod. 

“ _Tyler!_ ” someone yells from the gym and Tyler glances back over his shoulder, anxious all over again. 

“I have to go back,” he says. “But it was uh, nice to meet you guys. And you, Josh.” 

Josh opens his mouth, hopeful something interesting will fall out through sheer luck, but Brendon beats him to the punch. 

“You’re not gonna tell the teachers about us, are you?” Brendon asks with a sudden frown. “Because that would be totally uncool, I’m just saying.” 

“I won’t tell,” Tyler promises, giving them another heart-stopping smile. “See you in Biology, Josh!” 

“See you later,” Josh echoes breathlessly

Tyler disappears back around the bleachers with a wave and Josh spends what feels like a solid eternity staring after him. 

He’s well aware the grin on his face is way too wide to be cool and is in fact possibly the dorkiest expression he’s ever pulled but he _can’t stop himself_. It’s actually kind of cool the way the corners of his mouth keep sneaking up even when he tries to school his face into a frown. He presses his fingertips to his cheeks and tries to physically pull them down. It doesn’t really work. 

He’s interrupted by a snorting guffaw from Brendon. 

“That was really fucking gay, Dun,” Brendon tells him, smirking obnoxiously. 

“You’re holding hands with Spencer literally right this second,” Josh observes, flicking the roach to the ground and grinding it out with the toe of his shoe. He’s _still smiling_. 

Out of the corner of his eye he catches Brendon snatching his hand out of Spencer’s and whipping it behind his back, expression scandalized. Spencer rolls his eyes tolerantly and shifts to cock the other hip, lethally sarcastic. 

“Was not,” Brendon says unconvincingly. He seems to realize a second later how stupid he sounds because he continues, “Anyway, holding hands isn’t _gay_ , it’s just like. Bros being bros, you know? _You’re_ the gay one here.” 

Josh laughs so hard he snorts and has to sit down. 

Spencer sighs and rolls his eyes again, so hard it looks like it probably hurt, and pushes away from the post he’s leaning against. For a moment he wobbles, regaining his balance, but the next moment he’s walking forward like the split second of uncertainty had never even happened. Josh _really_ envies his cool. 

“You’re objectively the worst human on this earth,” he tells Brendon, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and leading him forcibly back toward the building. “See you later, Dun,” he calls back over his shoulder. They walk away, Brendon trying his best to convince Spencer to skip their last period and drive him to McDonalds for fries as they go. 

Josh sighs contentedly and lets gravity topple him all the way to the ground, spreading out on the sun-warmed cement. Now that Brendon’s rapidly fading voice has put the idea in his head he kinda wants fries. 

He wonders if Tyler likes fries.


	4. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set the day after the last drabble. yall can always request things you want to read!  
> EDIT: DON'T GOOGLE LEPROSY. DON'T DO IT. I CARE ABOUT YOU AND I AM TELLING YOU NOT TO DO IT. THANK YOU.

Josh walks into biology with the sort of gut-twisting feeling of terror he imagines people walking to the gallows must feel. 

At this moment in time, in this high school classroom, the brown-haired boy sitting hunched in his desk in the back of the classroom feels about as dangerous as a noose around his neck, anyway. 

Josh manages to make it across the room without passing out or tripping and falling face-first into a chair, like he’d been a little concerned he’d do. Tyler doesn’t really look up from his notebook anyway, doesn’t appear to have noticed Josh entering the room. Which is a good thing, Josh reminds himself. He has no business being slightly disappointed. 

He drops into his seat and settles into a loose sprawl, digging a notebook at random from his bag and snagging a pen. Despite every effort to play it cool he finds himself glancing at Tyler approximately every ten seconds, trying to tell if Tyler’d noticed his presence yet. 

It’s not till the teacher strolls in and calls the class to order that Tyler even looks up from what he’d been scribbling in his notebook though, and even then he just looks at the teacher. He blinks owlishly as he does it and Josh’s heart skips a beat like a stupid idiot. He forces himself to look to the front of the room before he’s caught staring. 

He can feel how red his cheeks are and schools his face into a glare so no one suspects anything. 

“-so I’m assigning a little project for outside of class, not anything big, it should take you a week or two at most but I’m giving you a month and a half so your posters better be _stunning_. I’m also assigning the groups-,” the teacher raises his voice to be heard over the sudden chorus of groans, “-and you’re all going to have to be very quiet so you can hear who you’re partnered with.”

Josh settles even lower in his seat with a grimace. He doesn’t have any real friends in this class anyway, so it could have been worse, but on the other hand group projects universally blow. And it’s not like he’s going to be paired with Tyler or anything. 

“-Iero you’ll be paired with Way, and Williams, you’re with Swift,” the teacher reads off. “And Dun, you’re paired with Joseph.” 

Josh glances around casually, wondering who Joseph is. He doesn’t know anyone with the last name Joseph, not that he really knows that many people at his school. No one is turning to look at him, though, and he glances to the side almost involuntarily. 

Tyler is staring right at him and the sick terror from before comes flooding right back through him. 

Josh chokes a little bit when Tyler stands up, bag in hand, and says his goodbyes to his basketball friends. He _may_ stare like an idiot as Tyler makes his way over to Josh’s seat and sets his stuff up on the desk next to his. There’s definitely some awkward staring when Tyler sits down, but at least it’s mutual. 

“Hi,” Tyler says at last, and smiles at him a little nervously. His heart skips another beat like the rank traitor it is. Josh really hopes his blush isn’t as noticeable as it feels. 

It’s kind of driving him a little crazy actually, the way Tyler’s acting like everything’s normal. Like he didn’t catch Josh getting high under the bleachers literally less than twenty-four hours ago. 

“Hi,” he says, and is really proud of himself for the way his voice doesn’t crack. “I uh, didn’t know your last name is Joseph.” 

“I um, I guess I knew yours was Dun?” Tyler says, making a weird face. Josh spends a moment wondering _why_ , exactly, Tyler knew his last name was Dun, before Tyler hurries on and distracts Josh. “So uh, I was thinking about the project? And I wanted to know what you thought we should do.” Tyler pulls his notebook out of his bag and sets it decisively on the desk. Josh nods like he’d been paying any attention to what the project was supposed to be on. 

“I’m fine with whatever you are,” he says, and tries on his best grin. 

Tyler blinks at him a little bit and then smiles back. 

“So you’re okay with doing a presentation on leprosy?” he asks sweetly and Josh freezes. 

“Y- essssss?” he says slowly, trying not to let his smile slide into the grossed-out grimace it wants to. He’d looked up leprosy once out of curiosity and had never closed out of a tab so fast in his _life_ , probably. Some things mankind was not meant to see, Josh reckons, and some things _Josh_ wasn’t meant to see. 

Tyler bursts into laughter, bright and sweet, and it takes Josh a second to realize that Tyler’s laughing _at him_ because he’s a little busy staring at him, star struck with how cute it is. 

He’s fully aware of how pathetic and gross he is, thanks. 

“You totally weren’t listening to a thing the teacher was saying, were you?” Tyler asks, voice still laughing, and Josh shrugs sheepishly. 

“I was distracted,” he says, hoping Tyler doesn’t ask by what. He’s not sure what lie he’d come up with to hide the fact he’d been busy not-staring at Tyler like a total creep. 

“S’fine,” Tyler says and taps his pen against his notebook thoughtfully. “We’re supposed to do a poster about an organ. Have any preference?” 

“None,” Josh snorts. 

“Cool, I wanna do eyeballs.” Tyler nods decisively. “You should give me your phone number and, uh, your address? We can do some planning later.” 

“Works for me,” Josh says breezily, like he isn’t turning cartwheels in his head at the thought of having Tyler’s number. Josh is, in fact, the world’s biggest loser. 

He reels off his number and then writes down Tyler’s with a careful hand. They’re left with a gap of silence, awkward but not uncomfortable. 

Josh knows he’s about to say something stupid, he really does, but he opens his mouth anyway and what comes out is “Thanks for being so cool about, you know, the stuff. Yesterday.” 

He winces as soon as the words leave his mouth and Tyler blinks at him, eyebrows drawn together in a little frown. Stupid, stupid _idiot_ , he’s a fucking _idiot_. He’d kick himself if that wouldn’t probably make him an even bigger weirdo loser in Tyler’s eyes. 

“It’s fine,” Tyler says at last. “I don’t really, uh, I’ve never been around it before? But I’m not gonna judge.” 

He coughs a little bit, looking embarrassed. 

“I kinda expected you to treat me like some idiot stoner, I guess,” Josh says with shrug. “Which I mean, fair enough, but still.” 

Tyler considers his words for a long beat, head tilted and eyes far away. It gives Josh an excuse to look at him, at least, and he takes full advantage. 

“I’m pretty sure everyone’s more complex than they seem,” Tyler says at last, glancing his way casually like he’s not saying something that’s twisting Josh’s heart a little. “It’s just easier to let people see you a certain way, sometimes. I try not to treat people like it, though.” 

“I’m not sure _everyone_ is, you met Brendon Urie, he’s basically a walking stoner cliché,” Josh snorts, trying to cover up the sweet flutter in his chest. “But, I mean… that’s an amazing way to look at the world, dude.” 

Tyler glances at him from under his lashes, a quick little motion that for a moment makes him look fey, a little sly and a little sexy. Josh catches his breath for a moment. 

“Most people just call it sappy,” he murmurs, half under his breath, and then tilts his head a little bit and smiles. “But I’ll take it.” 

“Time to split up again, people, in-class work is now!” the teacher shouts from the front of the class, interrupting the little bubble that seems to have formed around them, blocking out the rest of the world. Josh sits back in his seat and watches Tyler pack up and head back to his own desk. He feels a little wistful but at the same time, hey. They have a group project together. Basically _enforced_ hanging out. 

He very definitely, absolutely, categorically doesn’t check out Tyler’s ass as he walks away.


	5. five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the boys get high and go to taco bell. this one comes in after all the others i've written so far!

‘Bio-project working sessions’ have more or less functionally become something more along the lines of ‘smoke ridiculous amounts of weed and play around with the glitter glue and try to come up with excuses to kiss Tyler’, which Josh is such a fan of there aren’t even words. He _gets high_ and _plays with glitter glue_ and if he’s especially clever about it sometimes he even gets to _kiss Tyler_ , which is a height of dizzying happiness to which he never thought he’d ascend. 

If the way Tyler spends more time applying the glitter glue to Josh than to the posterboard is any indication, he has no complaints. 

They haven’t progressed much past extremely PG kissing every once in a while but Josh has hopes. He’s being a gentleman, of course – his momma taught him _right_ , okay, she’d magically sense him being anything less than a perfect gentleman and bust in like the Incredible Hulk and traumatize everyone involved – but still. Hopes. He has them. Like maybe getting Tyler’s shirt off for _topless_ makeouts or even getting to grab his ass, holy shit. He goes kinda lightheaded just thinking about it. 

He’s developing a slight fixation with Tyler’s ass and it’s only by the grace of God that Tyler hasn’t caught on yet. It’s just like, _there_. All the time. Being small and cute and grabbable and in Josh’s vicinity while also being torturously off-limits. 

They’re currently two bowls and as many hours into their most recent stab at the project and Josh has more or less given up any pretense of doing anything but watching Tyler work. Tyler doesn’t seem to really notice; he’s been smearing glitter glue determinedly over a print-out diagram of an eyeball for twenty minutes now. 

Josh is pretty okay with it. He can lie on the bed across the room and watch Tyler work, how he sometimes sticks his tongue out or worries at his lower lip with his teeth. He’s half-hard but he has been for a while and he’s pretty much used to it now, in Tyler’s vicinity. All is right with the world, Josh can just float on the soft velvet waves of his high and enjoy life. 

Tyler sighs and sets the tube down at last, apparently having filled the eyeball in with – Josh glances at it for a moment – bright purple glitter glue to his satisfaction. 

“I don’t think it looks right,” he laments quietly and wipes at a cheek with his hand. It leaves a wide streak of gleaming purple glitter over his cheekbone and Josh laughs. 

“It looks fine,” he promises and sits up laboriously from where he’d made himself comfortable lying on the bed. Tyler blinks at him slowly when he crouches down next to him and reaches out, looking stoned and befuddled. 

His eyes flutter shut when Josh’s hand touches his cheek and his head tilts to leave him access. Josh’s breath catches as he smudges gently at the glitter, most of it coming off on his thumb. He’s left cupping Tyler’s face in his hand. 

Tyler looks so fragile like this, so vulnerable and soft. Josh wants to touch, touch everything from the fingers curls loosely in his lap, stained in various marker shades, to the glitter still stubbornly stuck to his cheeks. His skin is soft, Josh notes dizzily, soft and warm. And he’s holding so still, still and content to be still, content to be under Josh’s hands. 

There’s a frozen moment where Josh is about to kiss him, where it’s a forgone conclusion, that he’s going to kiss him and then _say something_ about it instead of dancing around the topic in maddening circles. 

Tyler’s stomach growls. 

Long. And loud. _Insanely_ loudly. It goes on for several seconds and Tyler’s eyes flick open and he goes bright red. 

Josh starts laughing and can’t stop until he’s gasping for air. 

“Hungry, bro?” he gasps out between gales of laughter. 

“…Maybe,” Tyler mutters, ducking his chin and scuffling a hand through his hair. He peeks up when Josh finally gets control of himself. It’s cute as hell but now Josh is distracted and kinda hungry himself. 

“Dude, you like Taco Bell?” he asks. Tyler grins. 

“Oh, dude, _yes_ ,” he says happily, and when Tyler smiles like that Josh is pretty sure he’s completely incapable of saying no to him.

-

They walk to Taco Bell, which is luckily only about ten minutes away. Josh is starting to sober up a little bit by the time they get there but Tyler doesn’t have nearly the tolerance he does yet and he’s still debating mostly with himself how many burritos he should get.

Josh does his best to dissuade him from buying more than five and otherwise just grins fondly and wonders if there’s a way he can sneakily hold Tyler’s hand. 

He doesn’t think of one but Tyler’s settle on three burritos instead of seven so he counts it a net win and lets it go. 

They get to the counter and Josh realizes, looking up at the menu board, that he has the opportunity to truly change Tyler’s life. 

“Tyler, are you willing to let me _blow your mind?_ ” he asks. Tyler and the cashier both stare at him for a long moment. Tyler’s blushing a little bit. 

“Uh. Sure,” he stammers out eventually. Josh grins madly at him and turns to the bemused cashier. He’s well aware they probably come across as a pair of stoner kids, which isn’t so far off from the truth really. He can’t be bothered to care. 

“Two Burrito Supremes and the Cinnabon Delights,” he orders sweetly. 

The dude at the register snorts but punches the order in wordlessly and takes the money Josh hands over without comment. Tyler hovers awkwardly until it’s his turn to order and then almost forgets to grab his change. 

Their food takes forever to be prepared, it seems like. Josh spends the time dancing from foot to foot impatiently and promising Tyler he's going to absolutely adore what Josh is about to show him. 

Tyler doesn't look convinced but he lets Josh bundle him into a booth when they finally get their food and stuffs his burritos into his mouth with befuddled good grace when Josh refuses to tell him what he's about to show him until he finishes his food. 

“These?” Josh says when they've finally finished their food, shaking the bag of Cinnabon Delights at Tyler, “Are gonna change your life.” 

Tyler makes a skeptical nose but takes the little ball of sugary perfection when Josh hands it over. 

The noise Tyler makes when he bites down is fucking _pornographic_. A thin, high-pitched moan, cracking perfectly just at the end. Josh's dick jumps to life so fast he's left dizzy and a little lightheaded.

“Oh my gosh.” Tyler gasps out, still a moan. 

“Tyler?” Josh asks faintly. 

He’s hanging in a moment of limbo between his past and, he’s pretty sure, the biggest boner _of his life_. 

“Hmm?” Tyler asks absentmindedly, blinking up at Josh from where he’s bent over the paper wrapper in a vain attempt to stop the frosting from dripping from his chin. 

Josh makes a faint, involuntarily noise. It comes from low in his gut, a punched-out groan. 

Tyler has icing all over his mouth, dripping in pearly translucent lines from his lips and over his chin. It’s barely a leap at all from icing to Josh’s come, and Josh is instantly, blindingly hard. Tyler continues to blink at him innocently, pupils blown wide and dark, mouth red and wet. Josh wants to kiss it away, doesn’t know if he wants to taste the sugar sweetness or his own come on Tyler’s mouth more. He can’t think, not with his cock jerking in his boxers, the threads of the high still clinging to the edges of his thoughts. 

“Your mouth,” Josh tries to say, but his voice comes out so hoarse and broken he has to restart. “Your mouth, you should. You have something on it.” 

Tyler blinks again and smiles, sudden and blinding. 

“Thanks Josh,” he says, and proceeds to _lick the frosting from his lips_ , holy shit. 

Josh wonders dizzily if it’s possible to die from a boner. He’s pretty sure he’s never heard of anyone dropping dead of it before without also being insanely old but he’s also pretty sure he _feels_ like he’s about to die. His cock is achingly hard, a dull pulsing ache in his gut that’s almost as much in his head as it is physical. He wants to die or shove his hand down his pants or kiss Tyler until he can’t breathe. 

Mostly the last one. 

Maybe a little of the second one. 

Belatedly he realizes Tyler’s talking and he tunes back into the present with a jerk. 

“-What?” he asks, interrupting Tyler mid-sentence. Tyler takes a second to understand and rewind back to the beginning of his sentence. Josh is still having trouble focusing. 

“I was just saying I’m pretty glad I got you for a bio partner, man,” Tyler says and shrugs. His cheeks are pinking rapidly and Josh can’t help a smile, though it’s a bit of a struggle. He’s still so very, very distracted. 

“Same,” he admits. “You’re a cool dude, Tyler Joseph.” 

Tyler laughs outright, tilting his head back and making his eyes glitter and Josh is right back where he began, to helplessly wanting to reach out and just _touch_. To claim and hold and treasure. He can’t shake it and he’s pretty sure he’s staring but Tyler doesn’t seem to notice. 

“You’re not the worst, yourself, Joshua Dun,” Tyler says, wickedly, and Josh manages a little bit of a laugh. 

“We should get going,” he gets out a moment later. It sounds a little choked. 

Tyler looks at him a little funny but starts to gather up his wrappers anyway. He’s chatting about something to do with the food, something about how good it tastes, but Josh isn’t paying a lot of attention. He’s mostly trying to figure out how to adjust his hard-on so it doesn’t show quite as prominently when he stands up. 

He mostly manages and stands up as best he can, tossing his trash in the bin and heading out quickly. Tyler’s left to play catch-up and when he does he glances at Josh out of the corner of his eye, concerned. Josh feels kinda bad but he can’t really get enough working brain cells together, can barely concentrate against the combination of the lingering high and his persistent, awful erection. 

Tyler doesn’t say anything for a good twenty feet or so though, until they step around the corner and out of sight of the main street, putting a hand on Josh’s arm and pulls him to a stop. He waits until Josh looks up and meets his eyes. 

“Are you alright man? You’re kinda freaking me out a little,” he says. He looks _so concerned_. 

_You’re standing way too close and I really want to put my dick in your mouth, like really bad,_ Josh doesn’t say. _You’re way too beautiful to be real and I think I’m in too deep,_ he also doesn’t say. _Aaaaauughh_ , he doesn’t say, thankfully, though he feels like that thought sums all the rest up pretty concisely. 

“Fine,” he goes with eventually, strained and obviously untrue. 

“Are you sure?” Tyler asks anxiously, putting his other hand on Josh’s free arm and leaning in a little. His body heat is radiating enough for Josh to feel it, Josh swears, like a physical touch all down his front. 

Which is apparently way too much for Josh because some internal control snaps and before he really knows what he’s doing he’s got a hand in Tyler’s hair, the other hand gripping his shoulder, yanking him around and pressing him up against the wall of the building. 

Tyler makes a bitten-off yell before Josh’s mouth cuts him off. 

Josh presses into the kiss, the unfamiliar warmth of Tyler under his hands, pressed against his stomach and hips. There’s a moment of pressure and friction on his cock, aching and hard in his pants, but he’s focusing so much harder of the faint traces of sugar he can taste on Tyler’s lips. It’s too much and not enough all at once and Josh wants it dizzyingly bad. 

Tyler gasps and his mouth opens and Josh chases the taste further in, tracing his tongue over Tyler’s bottom lip and then feeling Tyler respond slowly, moving further in. 

They kiss for what feels like an hour, hot and wet and deep, filthy in the best way. Tyler makes tiny noises every time Josh moves, a small hum or moan or sub-vocal sound Josh feels more than he hears. They’re the hottest fucking thing he’s ever heard, ever ever in his entire life. 

He pulls back at last when his mouth has started getting sore. 

Tyler stares at him. His pupils are massive, blown wide and dark. His mouth is a mess, red and wet and slightly swollen with the force of Josh’s kiss. He’s panting, as much as Josh is, and he looks beautifully disheveled. Just a shade too put-together for well-fucked but. 

But Josh can see it. Can see what it’d look like. Knows how it would be, if. 

“Tyler,” he breathes. 

Tyler licks his lips, once, compulsively. Josh’s dick jerks. 

“We should go back to your place,” he says quietly. His eyes are liquid-dark and steady and clear when they meet Josh’s and heat flares in the pit of Josh’s stomach, prickling and urgent and so good. 

“Yeah, okay,” he croaks, and reaches out without thinking. 

Luckily Tyler takes his hand without a hesitation. Josh thinks he’d look pretty stupid if he hadn’t.


	6. six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soz for the wait, finals etc etc. this happens immediately after the previous drabble. sorry for the lack of anything terribly interesting in this one but it's set up for something hopefully rly nice so!!

They get to about an inch from Josh’s front door – Josh wishes he were exaggerating but really, his hand had been a second away from closing on the doorknob – when Tyler’s phone goes off. The sound is shrill and sudden and makes both of them jump. Tyler lets go of Josh’s hand to fumble his phone out of his pocket and Josh frowns. 

His hand feels cold and empty now. He stuffs them into his pockets grumpily and shifts his weight. 

“Mom?” Tyler asks hesitantly. 

Josh is suddenly very aware that the conversation he’d been looking forward to finally having was probably not going to happen today. Similarly, the making out he’d been very hopeful would happen afterwards. He frowns harder and toes moodily at the ground. 

“Can it wait, mom?” he hears Tyler ask, and glances up hopefully. Tyler’s face falls a moment later and Josh returns his gaze to his feet. There’s a tuft of grass growing out of a crack in the cement, and he kicks at it vindictively for having the audacity to exist in his vicinity. 

He feels bad about it a second later and tries to toe it back upright and into the dirt. 

“Fine,” Tyler sighs, “I’ll be back in a minute.” 

Josh looks up to see Tyler shove his phone back into his pocket. He’s frowning as hard as Josh is, eyebrows drawn together anxiously, chewing on his lower lip. Josh’s dick indicates its interest in the last part, which he steadfastly attempts to ignore. 

“You have to go,” he says instead of what he wants to say, which is _please don’t go_. It’s a little heavy to be whipping out just yet, he feels. 

Tyler scuffs a hand through his hair and sighs, long and loud. 

“I don’t want to,” he offers at last. He can’t meet Josh’s eyes and it makes Josh smile, even though he feels like crap. He reaches out and nudges Tyler’s shoulder until he looks up from where his gaze had been fixed on his toes. 

“C’mon, emo kid,” he says as cheerfully as he can manage. “We’re gonna hang out like, _tomorrow_ , or else I’m coming straight to your house and throwing rocks at your window.” 

Tyler laughs, seemingly despite himself. It makes his whole face light up and Josh swears that someday his heart will stop beating double-time when he sees it. It’s just a little bit totally lame, the way his lungs can’t seem to function when Tyler smiles. Josh crosses his fingers mentally that no one ever finds out what a loser he is. 

“If you break something my mom will kill you,” Tyler says, still giggling. “Do you even know which room is mine?” 

“I’ll try every one until I figure it out,” Josh tells him smugly. Tyler laughs again and Josh doesn’t bother stopping himself from reaching out. 

Tyler stops laughing when Josh’s fingers brush against his cheek but he’s still smiling, even as Josh’s thumb brushes over his lower lip. He can’t help pressing a little bit, just the smallest amount of pressure. When Tyler’s eyes darken in response his pulls in a sharp breath but doesn’t move to press anything further. 

He’s going to be a gentleman if it goddamn _kills him_. His poor aching dick is trying to tell him it will but he’s pretty sure it’s a liar. 

“You should get going,” he says, just a beat too late, dropping his hand. Tyler nods slowly, wordlessly. Silence falls again, heavy with something Josh almost wants to call tension even though the word doesn’t feel quite right. He can’t stop staring at Tyler, at his dark eyes and stupid, beautiful smile. 

“I don’t-,” Tyler begins nonsensically, and then apparently gives up on words because he’s lacing his fingers through Josh’s hair and pulling him into a kiss before Josh has quite sorted out what’s going on. He responds instantly, though, can’t make himself _not_. It’s fast, deep, messy and a little bit desperate and so good. 

Tyler pulls back a moment later, pulling on Josh’s hair just a little bit. Not enough to hurt, but enough to make Josh shiver. 

“Text me,” Tyler says, eyes intent and dark, and whirls away to dash for his car as Josh nods dazedly. 

He manages to jerk himself aware enough to wave half-assedly as Tyler drives away. It feels super lame but he does it anyway. Whatever, he’s already King Loser of the ultra-dorks, he doesn’t have much to lose. 

He sighs sadly as he makes his way inside. He can’t help feeling a little bit worried, like maybe Tyler won’t _want_ to talk about things. Not that he thinks that’s actually true – he’d been way too eager to get to Josh’s house, for one thing – but he still can’t stop the thought from sneaking in. 

“Josh?” his mom calls from the kitchen. He sighs again, twice as hard, and drags his way to the source of her voice. 

“Hey, mom,” he says mournfully, leaning against the counter. His mom is chopping onions and tossing them into a pot full of something mysterious and delicious-smelling. 

“I feel like I haven’t seen you all day, honey,” she says, smiling over her shoulder at him. When all he does is frown harder she stops and sets down her knife, crossing her arms over his chest and arching an eyebrow at him. 

“What?” he asks, avoiding her eyes. 

“Joshua Dun, you’re not that slick,” she tells him and smiles again, gentler. He feels his gaze slips down to look at his shoes. “What’s wrong, hon?” 

“I think I have a crush,” he tells his feet after a beat of expectant silence. “Or like, something. Worse than a crush. It sucks.” 

He’s not like, scared his parents will reject him or anything, if he gave details. He’s pretty sure they’d be cool with it. But he also _really_ doesn’t want to talk to his _mom_ about Tyler. 

“Oh, sweetie,” his mom says, tone sympathetic, and folds him into an onion-scented hug. 

It feels really nice. He hugs back for a length of time that is probably lame, but he’s already the King Loser, so he ignores that and just keeps hugging.


	7. seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is what the previous drabble was setting up for awww. 
> 
> i'm trying to toe the line here between 'haha we're like barely 18 how the frick do kinks work' and proper kink negotiation. it's rly important to communicate w your partner abt things like this beforehand!!

Josh gets the text the next day, well into the morning. He’s up because he hadn’t slept very well, nerves and too many thoughts in his head. He’d done his best to beat them out on his drum kit but, well. He’d slept about four hours all together. 

The text is from Tyler and all it says is _can i come ovr?_

It hadn’t sound particularly promising – downright ominous, in fact – but he’d responded with a quick _yah ok_ anyway. 

It’s a nerve-wracking half hour before he hears the knock on his door. He’s hovering in the living room, splitting his time between obsessively tidying and sitting on the couch, leg bouncing rapidly. When the knocking comes he jumps to his feet and dashes for the door way too fast. 

He’s expecting- something, when he opens the door. Like, not the police maybe, but maybe an angry Tyler. Which would be actually worse. He’d rather get arrested than have Tyler mad at him for real. Probably. It’s possible he’s not thinking too clearly. 

He’s not expecting the huddled bundle of blank-eyed, shaking Tyler Joseph he finds. 

He recognizes it instantly, in a rush of nasty déjà vu. It’s the panicky Tyler, the one from that crazy afternoon that had basically ruined Josh’s life and jerkoff fantasies forever. It’s the same. Red-rimmed eyes, jerky movements, pale and bloodless face. 

It takes Josh a second to process it all but then he’s opening the door wider and all but pushing Tyler inside. 

“Up to my room,” he says, gentle, and Tyler nods. Toes off his shoes and makes his way up the stairs to Josh’s room. He’s clumsy about it, like he isn’t in total control of his body. 

They get to Josh’s room and once again Josh is struck by that sense of déjà vu. Tyler, standing by his bed and refusing to look at him. Josh by the door, unsure of what to do. At least he’s sober this time. Might be able to figure out what to do. 

Tyler takes a jagged breath and Josh realizes he hadn’t been breathing at _all_ before. 

“I know we were going to,” Tyler pauses and gasps for breath. Josh feels each one aching in his own chest. “To talk, but.” 

He stops again, presses clawed finger to his mouth for a long moment. There’s white marks that fade slowly, when he pulls his hand away. 

“I don’t,” he says, “I don’t think I can? I can’t, I can’t talk.”

“Wow, of course not dude,” Josh says instantly, and then hesitates for a long moment. Tyler looks so _tiny_ , pulled into himself so tight it hurts just to look at him. “…Do you want a hug?” 

Tyler has his arms around Josh and face buried in his shoulder before the words have quite cleared his mouth. Josh flails for a long, incredibly uncool moment before letting one hand settle cautiously on Tyler’s back and the other in his hair. Tyler doesn’t move away when he does – he presses closer, in fact, pushing his face hard into Josh. 

“I’m sorry, I just. You help,” Tyler says into Josh’s shirt. It comes out muffled but Josh thinks he’s kind of the world expert at understanding Tyler, by this point. 

Tyler pauses for a long enough for Josh to feel the fine trembling running through his whole body. 

“You helped before. I thought, you’d maybe…?” he says at last. 

He means the silence, Josh thinks, and a tiny thrill of arousal bolts through him. Hot on its heels is guilt, though. Tyler needs him right now, and there’s not a lot Josh _wouldn’t_ do for him. Maybe not like, a kidney. Yet. Josh suspects give it a few more months of blinding smiles and words that hit Josh right in the gut and Tyler could have the organ of his choice. 

“You mean the, uh, the quiet thing?” he asks belatedly, combing his fingers absently through Tyler’s hair where it’s tufted up in the back. 

Tyler hesitates, smushing his face even harder into Josh’s shoulder, before nodding slowly. His skin is hot, even through the layers of Josh’s shirt. He’s flushing, Josh realizes. It can’t be an easy thing to ask for. 

“I mean,” he says at last. “I want to, but I don’t… Tyler, I’ve got no clue what I’m doing. I don’t want to do something wrong, man, I care about you too much.” 

He feels Tyler tense up under his hands and mentally curses. It takes a minute of gently smoothing his hand down the back of his neck and spine to get Tyler to relax even a little bit. He’s still radiating rigidity, though, and his breath is speeding again into hot, damp pants against his shoulder. 

“I’m just…” Josh says into the nasty silence, “I want to be sure I’d be doing it right.”

Tyler takes a deep breath and smushes his face into Josh’s shoulder one last time before pulling back and free of Josh’s embrace. He’s still moving jerkily, still breathing in sharp little pants that can’t be pulling in enough air. His eyes barely focus and his fingers are twisting in the hem of his shirt neurotically. He’s making a valiant effort to meet Josh’s eyes, though, and he hauls in a deep breath with some effort. 

“Um, I need-,” he begins, and cuts himself off with a jerk of his head that looks only semi-voluntary. Josh barely restrains himself from reaching out before Tyler continues, cheeks flushing blotchy red. “Just, tell me what to do?” 

“I don’t…?” Josh says awkwardly. He’s not even sure what he’s trying to say. Mostly he just wants to hold Tyler right now, wants to make it all better somehow. Not that he doesn’t also want to do what Tyler’s asking for, he just. He doesn’t know what he’s _doing_. 

“I don’t want to think,” Tyler says simply, eyes on Josh’s clear and forthright. He’s looking away a moment later, cheeks red and breath speeding again, edging back into the place he’d been before. The place in his head that did _this_ to him. “When you uh, do the thing, you know what I mean. It helps me not think and. I just, I can’t stop _thinking_ , I don’t _want_ to think but-,” 

Josh takes a split second to consider what he wants, what Tyler wants, how fucked up it all is when he stops to think about it and more importantly how little he cares. The split second after that is devoted to forcing his impending boner as far from his thoughts as possible, taking a deep breath and doing everything up to picturing an alpine lake in an attempt to calm down. 

“Quiet,” he orders, interrupting Tyler’s sentence. His voice comes out significantly more serious that he feels, which is slightly hysterical and significantly disbelieving that he’s actually going through with this. 

Tyler cuts off mid-word. His mouth hangs open for a moment before shutting and they’re left in total silence. 

There’s a bare foot of space between them. It feels simultaneously like way too far and much too close. He wants to reach out and touch, wants to brush careful fingertips over Tyler’s face, his neck, the dip in his spine. He also wants to go lock himself in the bathroom to jerk off alone forever but, well. 

Tyler’s staring at him. His eyes are that familiar dark, opaque and impossible to read. Josh still isn’t sure what that expression means but his flush is fading and he’s so still, so calm, and he thinks… he thinks maybe it’s going to be alright. Maybe they can figure this out, together. Even if it is kind of totally fucking weird. 

“You need to tell me if I, I don’t know, I do something wrong,” he tells Tyler. “I can’t do this otherwise, okay?” 

Tyler hesitates and then nods, a jerky dip of his chin. Josh exhales and it comes out as shaky as he feels. 

“Okay,” Josh exhales, and rubs nervously sweaty palms on his thighs. Tyler’s eyes follow his movements and the silence is thrilling, a prickling rush through Josh’s gut. 

An idea occurs to him and he considers it for a moment, watching Tyler watch him and doing his damnedest not to show how close he is to popping a massive boner. 

It takes him an awkward moment to scramble up the bed and scoot so his back is to the headboard. Tyler watches him go with a curious expression. 

“C’mere,” Josh says, and pats the open patch of bed between his thighs. Tyler hesitates and then crawls up onto the bed after him. He settles into the cradle of Josh’s legs with his back to Josh’s chest with a minimum of silent fussing and then waits, slightly stiff. 

“Good,” Josh says belatedly, and runs his hand through Tyler’s hair just because it’s there, begging to be touched. “I, uh. Be still for me, okay? Move if you get a cramp or something, but I’m going to put a movie on. Just, um, be as still as possible.” 

Tyler nods, the slightest dip of his chin, and abruptly goes boneless against Josh’s chest. 

There is literally no possible way he can’t feel the boner that Josh has brewing in his pants but he doesn’t make even the slightest indication that it’s there and Josh is grateful. It’s hard enough to dig the remote from his messy sheets without rubbing his erection against Tyler’s ass too much. Josh _wants_ , oh god does he want, but he turns on the TV and flips over to his Netflix queue. He’s a gentleman, he reminds himself, and blindly turns on whatever was queued up first. He can’t concentrate enough to watch it but he thinks it’s a crime show of some kind. 

He wraps his arms around Tyler’s waist as a concession to his aching desire to touch but compromises by keeping his hands to Tyler’s ribs and absolutely no lower. 

They finish an episode and Josh probably wouldn’t remember the plotline at gunpoint. Tyler’s so still in his arms, nothing but the rise and fall of his breathing and the occasional small shift. It’s the most distracting fucking thing ever in his entire life. 

He’s relaxed, though. Real relaxed, not just muscles but a real warm, drowsy weight to him that means that he’d let the tension out. It makes Josh grin, something warm and bubbly in his chest. He’d done the right thing. 

“You can move now,” he says over the credits music, and hits the button to take them back to the Netflix movie. 

Tyler sits up and shifts around to look at him. He’s shaking himself out a little bit, probably a little bit stiff, but he’s smiling and it looks _real_. Josh can’t stop himself from smiling back like an absolute fool. Tyler looks sleepy, pink and soft-eyed. 

“You did great,” Josh says thoughtlessly through his stupid involuntary grin. 

He’s not expecting the way Tyler’s voice catches in his throat, the flicker in his eyes. He’s abruptly scarlet, gaze dropping to Josh’s chest like he suddenly can’t meet his eyes. For a moment a beat of fear pulses through him, that he did exactly what he’d been afraid of and fucked everything up. It’s not until Tyler peeks back up at him through his eyelashes that he realizes that Tyler’s expression isn’t _bad_. 

“Did you…” Josh asks slowly, the idea dawning on him. “Do you like that? When I, uh… say nice things?” 

Tyler rolls his eyes silently, expression long-suffering, and Josh laughs giddily. 

“You were amazing,” he tells Tyler honestly, smile so wide it’s threatening to make his cheeks ache. “You were so good, you have no idea.” 

Tyler’s brilliantly red when Josh reaches out to touch his shoulder, gaze back on the ground. He shudders once, hard, when Josh’s fingers touch him, and it goes right through Josh in a bolt of pure pleasure. How responsive Tyler is. 

He sighs against Josh’s mouth when Josh presses the first gentle kiss to him. 

“You’re amazing,” Josh says, and his voice way too telling, way too broken open, he really hopes Tyler doesn’t read too much into it. He’s pressing more kisses to Tyler’s red, red mouth anyway. They’re chaste in everything except the emotion behind it, the sweet dark arousal that’s raging in his stomach. 

Tyler’s mouth opens under his, a silent exhalation that’s almost edging into a moan. It’s enough to remind Josh of his order for silence and he pulls back a little bit. 

“You can talk,” he gasps out, “Please, I want to- to hear you, please.” 

“Josh,” Tyler says, and then presses forward to kiss him again. It’s wetter, open-mouthed and so much, so much all at once. The force of it topples them over, Tyler’s legs bracketing his hips. The kiss doesn’t break, goes deeper, and Josh feels Tyler’s erection pressed against his thigh. 

He rolls his hips without thinking and the sweetness of Tyler’s moan is almost too much. It _is_ too much. He’s going to come in his pants in about five more seconds and that’s _scary_. 

He pulls back, presses a gentle hand against Tyler’s shoulder until he backs up a few inches. 

“God,” Josh says, voice barely a thread of sound, shaking and cracking through. Tyler’s eyes on him are so _steady_ , so dark and intent. “We should stop.” 

“I don’t want to,” Tyler says simply, and his eyes don’t flicker at all. He’s so close, mouth spit-slick and so red, so hot under Josh’s hands, so tempting. Josh wants to touch so badly, wants to touch everything he hasn’t had the chance to yet, everything he hadn’t felt allowed to before. 

Despite that, it isn’t the right time. Not after this afternoon. Not after everything, not without some serious, actual conversation. 

“Later,” Josh says, hating every word out of his mouth even though he knows it’s the right thing to do. Fuck his excellent upbringing and sense of moral uprightness, he thinks rebelliously, even though it’s a lie. “We should, um, talk about this first.” 

Tyler scrubs a hand across his face, pressing momentary fingerprints into the burning red of his cheeks. 

“You’re right,” he says grumpily at last, sounding exactly as pleased with the idea as Josh is. 

Josh laughs shakily and Tyler eventually joins him, breathless little snickers that pull the heavy tension between them back to a low simmer of arousal and gentle frustration. 

“Come on,” Josh says at last, and slings an arm across Tyler’s hip. “Cuddle me, at least.” 

“Twist my arm,” Tyler says, desert dry, and scooches down gracelessly to press his nose to Josh’s chest. 

Josh’s heart flutters, turns over, kicks out a false start. It’s the adrenaline rush of a rollercoaster and the sweet lazy feeling of a Saturday morning all rolled into one, and utterly fucking terrifying. 

_I’m gonna have to deal with this eventually_ , he thinks, but decides to shelve that thought for later in favor of closing his eyes and enjoying the sensation of Tyler’s low, sleepy grumbling vibrating against his chest instead.


	8. fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> orgasms whoo!! this is set well on from anything i've written yet. there's been a lot of communication and whatnot and they're dating at this point, which i haven't written yet!

“You don’t have to do this,” Josh says. 

He’s naked and so is Tyler and that’s like, it’s not _new_ anymore. But it’s still amazing. It’s still the best fucking thing to ever happen to Josh in his entire life. He gets a little dizzy just thinking about it. 

“I know, Josh,” Tyler says, fake-patient. He’s rolling his eyes, arms crossed over his chest, looking completely unconcerned with the fact he’s completely naked on his back in Josh’s bed. It makes something roll sweet and sharp in Josh’s chest, which he ignores for his sanity. Holy shit, he’s got better things to think about. Like naked Tyler. 

“I’m just saying-,” Josh begins, hoping Tyler can’t tell what he’s thinking just from his face. 

“Thank you for not peer-pressuring me into anal sex,” Tyler interrupts, dry as a desert. “It means so much.” 

“Okay,” Josh says breathlessly, and runs his hands up Tyler’s thighs for something to _do_. He’s about to shake apart right there with nerves and how hot this all is. It’s taking real effort to ignore how hard he is right now. 

“So how do we do this?” Tyler asks and shifts a little on the bed. It takes Josh a solid half-minute to get his thoughts together after that. He is so gone, Christ. 

“I think, um, you should.” He pauses and runs a hand nervously through his hair. “Maybe be on your stomach?”

Tyler’s on his knees and flopping back down on his stomach before Josh’s really quite aware of what’s going on. There’s a little moment, when he’s flat, where he’s rolling his hips against the bed and that’s. Josh makes a little noise and crawls up over him, pressing up along his back and pressing his lips to the back of Tyler’s neck. 

He is thrusting against the bed and it shifts his ass against Josh’s dick and Josh is going to come. He’s gonna come right there, right this second if Tyler doesn’t cut it out. And then Josh will have to move away and change his name and pretend he never existed, because he would be the guy that’d come before even getting the chance to finger his boyfriend. 

His desperate grip on Tyler’s hips, holding him to the bed, is really for his benefit. It has Tyler groaning anyway. 

“Josh,” Tyler turns his head a little and lifts himself up on his elbows. Josh belatedly remembers that he’d sort of had a direction he’d been going in. Fuck, he’s so glad he’d remembered to buy lube and leave it on the bed. He’s having issues thinking straight. 

“Okay so, I’ve um, done this to myself before too, a little,” Josh says without thinking, and he feels Tyler shiver all over. It’s strange under his hands, the movement of naked skin, but so fucking hot too. Tyler’s eyes when he looks over his shoulder are glassy and dark. 

“Oh, oh god Josh,” he breathes, voice breaking. “That’s so hot, oh god.”

“Tyler, Christ,” Josh says nonsensically, and can’t stop himself from thrusting against Tyler’s ass, just a little, just once. It feels so good and the noise Tyler makes at the sensation, a high-pitched little noise that’s not quite a whimper and not quite a moan… It has Josh tempted to just thrust and grind against him until he comes, all over Tyler’s back and ass. Fuck, he _really_ wants to come. 

Soon, he promises himself faintly. Josh has to grab the base of his cock and hold on to stop himself coming at the thought. He’s got plans, plans involving Tyler’s ass and his fingers. Good plans. Great plans. Josh really is going lightheaded but he’s hungry too, hungry for it, and so he reaches for the little unopened tube of lube blindly. 

Tyler tenses a little bit when he hears Josh fumbling with the cap to the lube and Josh pauses, dropping the tube and running both hands down Tyler’s back in broad, firm strokes. He tries to press away the sudden tension in Tyler’s back and it seems to work a little bit. Tyler sways a little, elbows buckling and then firming, and he presses back into Josh’s hands after a minute. 

“You okay?” Josh whispers nervously. “You with me?” 

Tyler’s bright red when he looks back over his shoulder again, avoiding Josh’s eyes. 

“…Can I be on my back?” he asks after a pause. “Please? I want… I want to see.” 

Josh’s cock throbs at that and he has to spend a moment catching his breath desperately, trying not to show how very, deeply affected he is by the thought. Fuck, fuck, he’s never done anything so sexy in his entire life, never even thought it could _be_ like this. His heart is fluttering in his chest. 

“Oh god, anything you _want_ , oh _god_ ,” he says, and flips Tyler over. It’s a little rough and Tyler yelps in surprise, and Josh maybe catapults the lube to the floor doing it, but then he has Tyler’s laid out under his hands and watching him with big, solemn eyes and that’s. 

Josh doesn’t have words. He’s impulse and emotion right now, the desire to touch and so much giddy joy flooding through him. 

He pauses, presses the pad of his thumb gently to the dip in Tyler’s collarbone. The skin there is just starting to sheen with a little bit of sweat, the slightest slip of slickness and it’s so burningly hot. Tyler stills under his touch, stops moving entirely, watches Josh silently even though his face is flushed dark pink. His hands are bunched in the material of the sheets in a way that makes the muscles of his chest more prominent. 

Josh wants to lean forward and taste the skin but he doesn’t, drags his thumb lightly down the center of Tyler’s chest instead. Over his sternum, then the barely-there muscles of his stomach. He draws a circle around Tyler’s belly button and Tyler gasps, a huff of air that feels involuntary. 

When Josh’s thumb passes over the hair at the base of Tyler’s cock, wiry and coarse, Tyler cries out, a thin sound that goes straight through Josh in a bolt of heat. 

Tyler’s cock is so hard it looks like it hurts. Flushed deep red, curving in towards his belly. It’s velvet-smooth and soft when Josh brushes his thumb up the shaft and Tyler bucks with another cry when he reaches the head and swirls his thumb there for a moment. He’s leaking precum, generous thick drops that feel slick and hot when Josh spreads them around. 

“Josh, _Josh_ ,” Tyler pants out, and lets go of the sheets to reach down with grasping hands. His eyes are dark and wild and Josh manages a groan before Tyler’s hands are in his hair and he’s being pulled up Tyler’s body to kiss him. 

It’s messy, wet, tongues and teeth and spit and Josh barely being able to concentrate. His cock brushes Tyler’s with every motion and it’s maddening, _so_ hot and so good. He wants to come so badly, wants to come _on Tyler_ even more. 

But he’d had a mission. 

“Lube, Tyler, hold on,” he pants out nonsensically, pulling away. Tyler makes a disappointed noise but lets him go to fish around frantically on the floor. It takes him a minute but then he’s coming up triumphantly with the lube and holding it up for Tyler to see, grinning. He’s bright red, he feels the heat in his cheeks, but Tyler’s so pink he’s practically glowing too. 

Tyler laughs at him but that’s okay. He stops when Josh climbs back on the bed and presses a kiss to his stomach, right next to his belly button. He gasps instead, and Josh feels the muscles of his belly flutter. 

Josh pops the cap on the lube and squeezes a generous amount on his fingers. Tyler watches with big eyes. 

“You totally don’t have to do this,” Josh promises him, hesitating under the full force of that gaze. “I can just blow you, I don’t like, want to pressure you-,” 

Tyler rolls his eyes and Josh stops mid-sentence, grinning. 

“Josh,” he says, voice shaking a little bit but imperious nonetheless. 

“Uh huh?” Josh says. His grin is growing out of control again, and Tyler rolls his eyes a second time in as many seconds. 

“Just put your fingers in me,” Tyler says and. 

Josh gasps for breath. He hadn’t known, somehow, how fucking hot those words would sound from Tyler’s mouth. He wants to hear them again. Belatedly he rubs his fingers together, making sure the lube is spread over his fingers evenly. He needs to concentrate, even though it’s so hard right now. 

Josh snickers to himself, _haha hard_ , and Tyler kicks him in the thigh. 

“Any day now,” he says snippily. Josh smiles at him sunnily and holds up his hand, wet with lube. 

“I’m gonna do one first and I’ll add more if you like it,” he says. “Spread your legs for me?” 

Tyler’s knees fall further open and he’s splayed out now. One hand clutching the pillows by his head, the other twitching restlessly on his hip. His cock red and hard and curving against his belly, almost painful to look at. His legs, spread so wide and thighs shaking a little bit. 

Josh spends a long moment just looking, storing the image away forever and ever because he doesn’t think he’s ever seen anything more beautiful, and it’s all for him. 

“God, Tyler,” he mumbles, and presses closer before Tyler can reply. 

Tyler jolts at the first touch of lube-slick finger at his entrance, tenses like he’s prepared for Josh to push in all at once. Josh frowns at that and pulls off a little bit, drawing circles around Tyler’s hole with a lubed finger and rubbing reassuringly at Tyler’s thigh with his other hand. 

“You have to relax, man,” he says gently. Tyler nods jerkily and the muscles under Josh’s hand flutter as he shifts position, then slowly releases the tension. 

“Good,” Josh murmurs and presses a kiss to the crook of Tyler’s thigh, right where it folds to meet his abdomen. 

Tyler sighs and relaxes even more, a happy little noise at the kiss or the words Josh doesn’t know. He takes advantage anyway, pressing his finger in until the tip is inside and pausing. 

Tyler’s tight, so fucking tight, and Josh’s cock jumps at that. Someday if Tyler likes this enough to let Josh try fucking him he’s going to have to spend an _hour_ opening Tyler up if he doesn’t want to hurt him. He’s shifting a little against Josh’s finger too, a minute back and forth motion like he isn’t sure if he likes the sensation of Josh’s finger or not. 

Josh is going to come. He’s going to do it. He leans up to mouth at Tyler’s cock mostly because he’s sure if he doesn’t distract himself he’s going to come. 

He licks a long stripe up Tyler’s cock, wet and hard, and Tyler cries out. It’s loud but he’s slapping a hand over his mouth a moment later, whining against his fingers. For a moment his ass is tighter than before around Josh’s finger and then it’s relaxing again, more than ever. He presses forward with it, leaning forward at the same time and sucking the head of Tyler’s cock into his mouth. His finger presses in, until it’s all the way inside. 

Tyler is moaning, continuously, rising and falling with every motion of Josh’s mouth on him. It’s going straight to Josh’s cock, a line of lightning, that and the way Tyler’s ass is squeezing around his finger. It’s so much, so much. He wants to get a hand on his cock so badly. He is going to come the instant something touches his cock, he _swears_. 

It takes him a moment to understand what Tyler’s saying – fuck, he’s so gone, he’s so gone he can barely think and he isn’t the one with his dick being sucked so he doesn’t know how Tyler manages it – but it gets through eventually. 

“-move, Josh, please, I need- I need it, please-,” he’s chanting and Josh almost chokes around Tyler’s dick. He has to pull back to breathe, prop himself up on one elbow to get the leverage. 

The noises Tyler makes when Josh begins to fuck his finger into his ass are obscene. Porno noises but better because they’re real and personal and Tyler, everything Josh wants to hear every time he gets off. He’s moaning in sharp bursts, rising with every time Josh pushes inside, trailing breathily when he pulls out. 

He nearly screams when Josh finally figures out how to move his finger and get his mouth on Tyler’s cock at the same time. He’s leaking precum all over himself in thick salty drops and when Josh looks up his expression looks _ruined_. He’s flushed red, eyes squeezed shut and tears gathering at their corners. He’s beautiful. He’s so fucking beautiful. 

“Josh-,” he gets out eventually, eyes slitting open, words barely managing to make it out of his mouth. “I want, please, please, more, I want-,”

Josh pulls off and has to pant for breath. He wants to fucking come. 

“Another, another finger?” he gasps out. Tyler nods. His eyes are all pupil and he’s watching Josh in a way that makes the thing turn over his chest again. He’s never, ever going to be able to deny Tyler a thing, he realizes. 

“Okay,” he says belatedly, and pulls his finger free. Tyler makes a disappointed noise but watches with dark eyes as Josh fumbles with the lube again. His hands are shaking and he spills lube all down his wrist but he gets enough on his fingers and he crawls back in between Tyler’s spread legs. 

“Ready?” he asks, voice shaking. He’s sort of expecting Tyler to make a smart remark but all he does is nod again. His eyes are so dark. 

He moans when Josh nudges his pressed-together fingertips against his entrance. It tips his head back against the pillow, exposing a length of throat that Josh kind of wants to bite down on. Instead he noses back to Tyler’s cock. It’s flushed dark red and so hot against his cheek as he licks around the base. 

The noises Tyler makes as he does… there aren’t words for them. His cock is jerking with every motion of Josh’s fingers and he nearly screams again as Josh licks lower, tonguing his balls before moving lower still. 

Josh licks around where his fingers have breached Tyler’s hole and Tyler’s ass tightens up around them. He comes with a shout that’s barely muffled by his hand over his mouth and it lasts for ages, long enough for Josh to sit up and watch him, come striping his stomach. He arches with it, stomach muscles standing in stark relief. 

Eventually he settles, looking exhausted and sated and boneless. Josh eases his fingers free, petting Tyler’s thigh when he makes a disappointed noise. 

“You haven’t come yet,” Tyler observes, voice hoarse. His eyes are still dark. Josh nods. He’s not sure he’s capable of speaking. He’s so hard he thinks he could come if a breeze touched his dick right now, let alone a hand. 

“Can I-,” he begins, and his voice breaks. He coughs and begins again. “Can I come? On you?” 

Tyler trails a lazy hand across his stomach, through the come, smearing it against his skin. Josh can’t help his little groan at the sight. 

“Please,” Tyler says, watching him. Josh moans again, fumbling to his knees over him. His cock is painfully hard and when he finally gets a hand around it the sensation is nearly painful. 

It takes literally three seconds of jerking off to come and then his own come is spattering Tyler’s stomach, chest. He’s still running his fingers through it and when he puts his fingers to his mouth experimentally to taste Josh’s spent dick twitches. 

He collapses beside Tyler and breathes. He feels sort of like a truck hit him, in a sexy way. 

Tyler’s still cleaning his fingers in flickers of red, wet tongue when Josh looks over. He glances over with a wicked grin when the sight punches a groan from Josh. 

“Tastes gross,” he says. Josh puts his hands over his face and pretends like he doesn’t have a grin spreading over his face that’s threatening to break his cheeks. He’s got butterflies in his chest so strong they feel more like birds and he wants to kiss Tyler despite the fact he probably tastes like come and he wants… god, he wants to hold his hand. 

“So don’t put it in your mouth, Tyler, Jesus,” he says into his palms. Tyler laughs, the sound bright and clear. Josh peeks at him through his fingers. 

He’s smiling so beautifully. Josh’s heart double-beats. 

He kisses Tyler even though he absolutely does taste like come, because if he doesn’t he thinks he’d say something he’s not quite ready to say. Tyler accepts it eagerly, puts his gross fingers in Josh’s hair. They’re both covered in sweat and come, both probably smell really bad. Josh is going to make them both shower, he swears, but in a minute. 

Not right now.


	9. fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anon requested cute cuddly continuation of the previous chapter and i got inspired but then i got started and it all just got a little bit out of hand. i hope this is okay, anon. set literally right after the previous drabble.

Getting Tyler into the shower is an exercise in cheerfully putting up with Tyler’s sulky grumbling. He has to physically pick Tyler up and put him on his feet, and then lead him by the hand furtively across the hall into the bathroom. Not that he’s complaining. Getting to put his hands all over naked Tyler, what a tragedy. 

He’s having a hard time stopping touching, actually. Tyler’s still naked, there’s still so much skin on display that Josh want to touch. 

So he does, when they get the bathroom door closed behind them. Tyler makes such sweet little noises when Josh slides his palms across his ribcage, thumbs at his nipples a little bit, drags gentle fingernails down his stomach to cup his flaccid dick. It twitches in his hand and Tyler makes a helpless little noise that’s so sweet to hear, head falling back against the door with a gentle thump. 

Josh lets go and when Tyler slits his eyes open to glare Josh grins unrepentantly. 

“Tease,” Tyler grumbles, tone ruined by the breathlessness of his voice. 

“Can’t help it,” Josh says, pressing his grin against Tyler’s cheek. “You’re just so gorgeous.” 

“You’re a loser,” Tyler huffs but his cheek is heating against Josh’s mouth and his hands come up to cup the back of Josh’s head and his shoulder. 

Josh presses soft kisses to the bit of Tyler’s shoulder and neck he can reach. It’s more than enough, all he ever wants to press skin to skin with Tyler. To be close to him like this. To kiss and more, to have Tyler seek kisses from him. 

He shifts to reach more of Tyler’s neck and abruptly becomes aware of the come drying in his pubes. Itchy, is the word for it. Very itchy. 

Tyler makes a sad noise when Josh pulls away. Josh feels bad about it for maybe a second while he turns to turn on the shower and adjust the temperature, but then he turns around and Tyler’s gaze rises guiltily from where it’d apparently been fixed firmly on Josh’s ass. 

Josh raises an eyebrow. Tyler’s flush deepens. 

“Shut up,” he mutters and looks at his feet. Josh feels his smile spreading to King Loser proportions and doesn’t do a thing to stop it. 

Tyler jumps a little when Josh puts a hand on his arm to reel him in but he goes easily, following Josh under the spray and hissing happily at how warm it is. Josh is a shower ninja, he knows, it’s the perfect warmth and pressure and position. He knows how to treat a guy when it comes to showers. 

“I can hear you congratulating yourself,” Tyler says, rolling his eyes haughtily despite the way his hair is plastered to his head. Josh thinks it’s cute but he has a sneaking suspicion that he’s too far gone on this boy to be truly objective. 

“If you keep being rude I won’t wash your hair,” he says and pops the cap on the shampoo. Tyler narrows his eyes in a way that says he’s more amused by Josh than Josh likes but he turns around willingly enough. 

Josh spends a long minute lathering the soap in his hands and admiring. Tyler’s built like a basketball kid, all lean muscle and a tiny, sweet little ass that Josh kind of wants to worship. His skin is flushing in the warmth of the shower and he wants to lick up the water rolling in slick drops down his back. Belatedly he looks down and realizes he’s managed to get hard _again_. 

Perks of teenager-hood, he thinks to himself ruefully. 

Tyler makes a pleased murmuring noise when Josh steps up behind him and starts to massage the shampoo into his hair. It makes Josh’s stomach roll pleasantly and his dick twitch with even more definite interest. When Josh presses forward a little bit, just enough to make it obvious that he’s hard, Tyler makes a low noise that’s too quiet to truly be a moan. Josh breathes through it, blinks away the water gathering in his eyelashes, and keeps his hands moving in Tyler’s hair. It’s short at least. Easier to handle. 

The soap is washing down the drain steadily and Josh watches it because that’s safe. It’s not Tyler’s golden back, his ass, his wet hair in Josh’s hand. He can focus on the water and not on Tyler’s noises, which are getting slowly louder, lazy humming that edges up into a moan when Josh’s massaging fingers press gently into the bone at the back of Tyler’s skull. 

“Josh,” Tyler says at last. His voice is hoarse and quiet and it sounds like he’s smiling. 

“Mhmm?” Josh hums back, rubbing a hand through Tyler’s hair and watching the last suds swirl down Tyler’s back. 

“Missed a spot,” Tyler says and it definitely sounds like he’s laughing now. Josh would suspect something but he’s kind of hypnotized by the warm water and Tyler under his hands and he leans forward with a questioning hum. 

Tyler’s hand reaches back and gropes around until it finds his, and then guides it around to press against his hip. From there he guides it around and down until Josh is pressed full-length along Tyler’s back, cock snug in the crease of his ass, and his hand is pressed flat to Tyler’s stomach. Without thinking he drops his hand lower and-

He moans and Tyler does too, bucking his hard cock into Josh’s hand. 

He’s so hard and Josh moves his hand without thinking about it, a quick slide up and down Tyler’s shaft that isn’t slick enough despite the water. Tyler moans anyway, bucking again in a move that presses his ass back against Josh’s cock. Josh presses back until Tyler has to lean forward a little and brace his hands against the wall to stay upright. 

The showerhead is aimed so that water spills down Tyler's back and he pauses for a long moment to lick and lick, hand tight around Tyler’s cock but providing no friction. The hitching noises Tyler makes, helpless and wanting, are addictive. Josh bites down gently on the muscle at the join of Tyler’s shoulder and neck, ever so gentle with his teeth, and begins to move again. 

There’s a rhythm that forms when Josh thrusts and jerks Tyler off at the same time and he settles into it. It pulls Tyler tight to his body, telegraphs the vibrations of his needy moaning through his chest and it’s that more than anything that’s getting him off. Though the motion of Tyler’s ass against his dick is helping. 

“You’re so gorgeous,” Josh’s voice spills out almost without him allowing it, and it echoes in the bathroom the way their moans don’t. Tyler cries out at his words and his cock jerks in Josh’s hand. He’s abruptly pulled tight like a bowstring, vibrating tension and too much heat. 

“You really like that, huh,” Josh says, voice hoarse. It’s not really a question but Tyler’s head bobs in a nod and then drops forward between his braced arms. Josh would be almost worried but he’s still moaning, moving with the motion of Josh’s hand, so tight with tension. He’s so beautiful. Josh wants him so much. 

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs into the skin of Tyler’s shoulder. He feels Tyler shudder and he grins, pressing his teeth against Tyler’s skin gently. It’s so wet, so slick. “I want you so much, all the time, _Christ_ , Tyler, how are you so beautiful.” 

“I-,” Tyler pants, and then cries out when Josh swipes his thumb across the head of his cock thoughtfully. He recovers with deep, panting moans. “I’m not, I don’t-.”

“You are,” Josh interrupts, feeling the sweet sharp thing that he’s refusing to name rise up in his chest. “You are, Tyler, you’re everything, you’re so good for me.” 

Tyler moans, long and sweet and high-pitched and then he’s coming, his cock pulsing in Josh’s hand still one of the hottest things Josh’s ever felt in his life. A second later Tyler’s knees are buckling and Josh has to grab him around the waist for a moment to keep him upright, until he gets his feet shakily back under him. 

Josh is sort of so hard it’s painful and when he looks over he can see Tyler’s come washing slowly down the shower wall and – and holy shit. Holy shit. He looks back up at Tyler, who’s watching him dark eyes and shaky breathing and a sweet little smile and he thinks, clearly, _I love you_. 

His second thought is _holy shit I need to come_ and he moans, wrapping a hand around his cock. 

Tyler’s knees hit the floor with twin thumps and then his hands are hesitant on Josh’s hips and Josh isn’t thinking coherently, not at all. It’s the most he can do to shift around to block the spray from getting Tyler in the face before Tyler’s tongue is lapping at the head of his cock and he loses even that. 

“Fuck,” he gets out, distorted and muffled and drawing out a moan from Tyler that has him bucking up into Tyler’s mouth. Tyler doesn’t even gag, just takes it and moans again, and Josh is gone. Two thrusts later and he comes. 

Tyler pulls back so that the come catches him across the mouth and chin, transparent white and so fucking hot, and Josh falls forward to his knees to touch it. His knees ache but he ignores that. 

Tyler’s eyes close when he runs his fingers through the come rapidly being washed off his face. He opens his mouth and Josh pushes his come-covered fingers in, watching with a feeling something like religious transcendence as Tyler closes his eyes and cleans his fingers with his tongue. 

“Tyler,” he says, and his voice is cracked. 

“Josh,” Tyler replies, voice hoarse and thick. He moans brokenly when Josh kisses him blindly. 

“You’re amazing,” Josh says when he finally comes up for air. Tyler laughs breathlessly and leans forward to press his face into Josh’s shoulder. Josh’s stomach rolls and his chest flutters and he remembers, with a rush of fear and butterflies, what he’d thought in the heat of the moment. 

_Love_ , he thinks. _Okay_. 

“The water’s getting cold,” Tyler says at last, sounding like he smiling. “Get out and cuddle me.” 

“All you do is take,” Josh grumbles, his own smile too wide. He’s going to leave that particular epiphany for later, for a time that isn’t now, for when he isn’t quite so wrapped up in this golden, beautiful boy.


	10. eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is after the second panic attack drabble, chapter seven, and well before the last two drabbles. welcome to fluff hell, everyone

“Wow, you weren’t kidding about stalking me to my house,” Tyler observes, leaning against his doorframe.

“I don’t think it counts as stalking if you gave me your address and I warned you I was gonna do it,” Josh says, grinning winningly. Tyler laughs, thankfully. It’s just a quick, nervous giggle but Josh is willing to take what he can get, considering the circumstances.

He’d given Tyler a day to recover, after he’d gone home. A day of meaningless text messages and staring at his ceiling, too tense for once to even want to jerk off. Josh had felt kind of bad about that, actually. He’d had the stuff of his literal fantasies come true and then ruined it by being a decent human being. 

No good deed goes unpunished, Josh had decided morosely, and texted Tyler another picture of a dog in a hat in lieu of orgasms. Not quite as good. Maybe.

The next day had dawned with the decision on Josh’s part that he’s going to talk to Tyler or die trying. Possibly of frustrated boners, possibly of the stupid little flutter his heart persists in doing whenever he thinks about anything to do with Tyler, whatever. They’re going to talk, is his point.

So he’d texted Tyler to tell him he’d be over and started walking.

Someone shouts farther in the house, sounding young and feminine. Tyler glances back into the hall nervously and then turns back to Josh. He’s biting his lip, Josh valiantly doesn’t notice.

“Let’s go, um,” Tyler says, and jerks his thumb around the side of his house. “There’s some woods over there I know pretty well. We can talk there.”

“Ashamed to be seen with me, I see how it is,” Josh observes sagely, setting out around the house in the direction Tyler had indicated. Tyler makes a disgruntled noise but follows. 

There are indeed woods behind Tyler's house. A forest, even, big and deep and kind of dank when they walk in among the trunks. It's silent as they walk. And incredibly, astonishingly awkward. Josh sort of wants to die. 

They get to a stretch of forest that looks exactly the same as every other stretch of forest to Josh and Tyler stops, stuffing his hands in his pockets and huffing out a long breath. 

“Hi,” Josh says, because he is and always will be an awkward loser deep in his soul. Tyler doesn't deign to respond to it, at least, thank god for small mercies. 

“So um,” he says with what could, in some low lighting conditions, be mistaken for a smile. It looks more like a scared animal. Not that Josh would say that out loud. On purpose. 

“Talking,” Josh says, keeping his tone light. Nerves are rising in his throat, shrill and sharp and unpleasant. He wants this, but does _Tyler?_ He'd been sure but now not so much. He feels kind of like the air is too thick to breathe. Which is ridiculous, Josh thinks with vague hysteria, he's been breathing it just fine for most of his life.

“Yeah,” Tyler says, shifting from one foot to the other uncomfortably. He's staring at a bush a few feet away. It's not a terribly interesting bush, when Josh sneaks a look at it. 

“Talking usually involves, like, words,” Josh prompts. 

“It's hard,” Tyler complains, sounding for the length of a second just like his normal self. A second later he's shrugging and ducking his head, shuffling his sneakers in the leaf mulch. 

“I just,” he tells the rubber toes of his shoes. “I want. You know.”

“Um,” Josh says uselessly, because he obviously _doesn't_ know. He knows what he _hopes_ but that doesn't really mean anything. 

“What we've been, uh, you know. What we've been doing lately,” Tyler says, a flush working up the back of his neck. Josh follows it helplessly with his eyes. He's still not fucking immune to Tyler, _still_. Disgusting. 

“I'm aware of it,” he says belatedly. He can feel an answering flush working its way through his own cheeks. Tyler groans and presses a fist to his mouth for a long moment. 

“I want… that. I want, you know. Us,” Tyler says, looking so pained it takes Josh a moment to stop being entertained by it and actually register what Tyler had said.

“And by us, you mean…?” he asks slowly, light dawning bright and cool in his chest. He’s not surprised, not exactly, he’d sort of known what they’d walked twenty minutes out into a literal goddamn forest to say, but. But it’s different to hear. It’s different to be _sure_.

“You know,” Tyler says, slowly going red. He shuffles his feet in the undergrowth and kicks at a small shrub for a moment. “Like, us. Together.”

“And by together you mean?” he asks, giddiness swelling against his ribcage until he can’t breathe. Until he feels like he doesn’t even need to, like he could live forever just off the fluttering feeling in his chest. He knows what Tyler’s trying to say, knows what his answer is going to be. As if it could ever be any other way.

Apparently Tyler literally can’t bring himself to meet Josh’s eyes. He’s looking at everything in Josh’s vicinity but Josh himself.

“Like,” Tyler says, sounding so pained Josh almost feels bad, “Like. You know. Together. Us. Like… boyfriends.”

It causes Josh actual physical pain to stop himself from laughing but he manages, in a slightly strangled voice, to say “And by boyfriends you mean…?”

Tyler glances at him, registers the barely contained laughter shaking through Josh, and makes the most betrayed face Josh’s ever seen.

A moment later he’s rushing forward and Josh feels him impact at about chest level and they’re toppling to the forest floor, rolling through bushes and grass. Josh gets a leaf in his mouth and doesn’t even _care_. He’s too busy laughing, laughing so hard he thinks he could be tearing up, wrestling with Tyler mostly as an excuse to slide his fingers over every inch of him he can reach. It feels like he’s got his very own earthquake in his chest.

“Yes, yes, yes, you loser, oh my gosh,” Josh crows when they eventually roll to a stop. Tyler’s on top of him and they’re covered in leaves and mud, panting for breath. Josh scrubs a hand through Tyler hair. He can now – not that he couldn’t before, exactly, but. But now he can, and it _means something_.

“Josh,” Tyler says, sounding vaguely pained through his smile and then he’s pressing kisses to Josh’s mouth. Josh can’t do much but hold on, try to keep their teeth from clicking together because neither of them can stop smiling.

The kisses gentle, settle into the gentle press of lips and then to just touching, Josh’s fingers in Tyler’s hair and down his back, Tyler’s hands wandering across his chest and brushing over his cheeks. Tyler’s cheeks are pink and he keeps snatching looks at Josh, looking back down at his hands when he sees Josh looking. Josh can’t _stop_ , can’t make himself look away.

“You’re sure?” Tyler whispers at last, cheeks reddening even more. Josh brushes fingertips over one cheekbones, feeling the heat rising there. He understands, he thinks. Tyler has to be sure.

“Certain,” he says agreeably.

Tyler… doesn’t look reassured. His blush is deepening, actually, and suddenly he isn’t even sneaking glances at Josh. He’s staring at his hands on Josh’s chest and his breath is starting to speed.

“What’s wrong-?” Josh begins, frowning, and Tyler cuts him off by sitting back on Josh’s legs. He’s still not looking at Josh and nasty fear is starting to swirl in Josh’s gut. He doesn’t know what to do, knows that _something_ must be wrong but can’t conceive of what.

Tyler mumbles something, a quick stutter of syllables Josh doesn’t catch.

“I didn’t…” Josh says helplessly, heaving himself up on his elbows. Tyler sneaks a glance at him at last and it’s sad, miserable. 

“I'm not... I don't. You know what I get like sometimes,” he says quietly, words mumbling and slurring like he doesn't want his words getting out. 

A tiny ache springs up in Josh's chest. It's sad, sympathetic. He reaches out and slides a hand around the back of Tyler's neck, petting gently and playing with the short hairs until Tyler's shoulders unlock a little. Until he's relaxing helplessly into Josh's touch. 

“Yeah, I know about that,” he says quietly, at last. “It's okay, you know? It doesn’t, like. It doesn’t freak me out or anything.”

The muscles under Josh's hand tense again and Tyler rears back a little, as much as he can when they're so close together. He's staring at Josh narrowly. 

“We can't be open,” he snaps out, rapid-fire almost like he's angry. He's not, Josh decides with another flare of aching sympathy in his chest. He's scared. “I can't be out yet, with basketball and. And my parents, I'm not out to them, or my friends. We can't be together at school. Maybe, just, maybe _ever_. We can't go on dates or anything.” 

“Tyler,” Josh interrupts, shaking Tyler gently. For a long moment Tyler is tenser than ever, muscles rigid and radiating discomfort before he relaxes again and sighs, sounding exhausted. 

“You still want it?” he asks softly. He sounds kind of lost. 

“Tyler,” Josh says kindly, “I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.”

Tyler stares at him for a moment, expectant. 

“Here's the big secret,” Josh stage-whispers, leaning in real close. “High school _isn't forever._ ” 

Tyler takes a moment to process this and then makes a noise halfway between laughter and anger, punching Josh in the chest none-too gently. It literally knocks laughter out of him and he's giggling, falling back to lay in the damp leaves. Tyler stares down at him, looking vaguely lost. 

“Yeah, I still wanna be boyfriends with you,” Josh says kindly. “You idiot. Now get down here, boyfriend, I want kisses.” 

“What'd your last slave die of?” Tyler asks snidely, sounding like the sass is an automatic response. He's staring down at Josh with awed eyes and it makes the warmth in Josh's chest swell like an orchestral crescendo. 

“Lack of kisses,” he says breathlessly, and threads his hands through Tyler's hair to pull him in for kisses. His _boyfriend's_ hair. 

Holy shit, he thinks. Just, holy shit. 

What's he gonna tell his _mom?_


	11. ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more porn because what is self control?? who knows! why are they out of class?? also who knows!! set somewhere between chapter 10 and chapter 8

It’s risky and stupid and the worst decision in the world and Josh yanks Tyler into the supply closet anyway. Broom handles rattle around them and he spends a long moment grappling with them before he manages to right the bucket he’d kicked over and stop things from falling around them. It is not, he decides sadly, as smooth as he’d hoped it would be. 

There’s a long moment of silence inside the closet. Outside, the hallways are equally silent. Classes are in session, and they have maybe, _maybe_ half an hour before the halls are flooded with bored students. 

“Josh,” Tyler says at last, tone deliberately neutral. 

“Yep,” Josh says brightly. 

They’re pressed so close to each other Josh can feel Tyler’s breathing stirring the hairs on his neck. He’s got his hands tangled in Tyler’s shirt, from when he’s tried to get a good grip to pull him into the closet. He has precisely zero desire to move them. Tyler apparently doesn’t mind, because he just huffs out a sigh through his nose. 

“We’re in a janitor’s closet, Josh,” he continues eventually. He still sounds very calm. Josh tries widening his grin. 

“Yes we are, Tyler,” he says, and lets go of Tyler’s shirt to start smoothing it busily. If he maybe starts feeling Tyler up, whatever. That’s his business. 

“Josh,” Tyler says, and then exhales shakily when Josh’s hands slip up under his shirt. “Joshua Dun, why are we in a janitor’s closet?” 

Josh hums and slides his hands across Tyler’s stomach. It’s shaking under his fingertips, just the lightest shudder of tension. When he steps forward Tyler steps back, until Tyler’s back hits the wall of the closet. They pause for a long moment, the only sound Tyler’s rapid breathing and the faint rasp of skin as Josh lets his fingers skate across his body. He’s almost hard, most of the way there, and Tyler’s hitching breathing is helping it along. 

“You’re dirty,” Josh says innocently, and Tyler’s breathing catches on the tiniest moan, head falling back against the wall with a thump. “Therefore, janitor’s closet.” 

“You’re, nnn,” Tyler says, struggling with words as Josh presses higher under his shirt. He bucks when Josh thumbs at a nipple. “You’re not as clever as, god, as clever as you think you are.” 

“Worked, though,” Josh says, and steps forward one last time so that they’re pressed together from thigh to chest. He only has to duck a few inches to press his teeth into the curve of Tyler’s throat, gentle pressure guaranteed not to leave marks. It still makes Tyler go boneless, enough for Josh to slip his thigh between Tyler’s legs. 

He’s hard, Josh discovers, hot and pressing against his jeans. Tyler whines when Josh presses forward just a little bit, rolling his hips. His hands are fluttering up Josh’s back, landing on his hips and running up and down his spine, threading through Josh’s hair for a moment and tugging lightly. 

“Wow,” Josh says jokingly, pulling away to breathe. “Dirty, dirty, dirty.” 

At his words Tyler’s hips jerk again and the noise he makes is loud, echoing in the dark space between them. It gets Josh somewhere low in the stomach and suddenly he can’t breathe. Holy _shit_. 

“You like that?” he asks after a moment of silence, breathless and hoarse. 

Tyler doesn’t say anything, turning his face away. Josh would be worried but Tyler’s cock twitches against his leg and Tyler’s breathing is still hitching and broken. 

“Tyler,” Josh says, and has to cut himself off when Tyler finally looks at him. 

It’s hard to see in the dim closet but he can make out the edges of Tyler’s face, the glint of light from his eyes, the wet shine where his teeth are worrying his lip. His hands are still tangled in Josh’s hair and shirt. He’s watching Josh and Josh can’t quite make out his expression. 

“Tyler, just,” he says, and doesn’t know what to say. Tyler breathes out, almost a sigh, almost a laugh. 

“I don’t know, I,” he says at last, and his voice is thready. Ruined, almost, hoarse already. “Please, Josh, don’t _stop_.” 

It takes precisely a second for Josh’s dick to agree with Tyler, and then his hips are rolling forward and he’s gasping out a moan to match Tyler’s. 

“We’re, god, we’re talking about this later,” he gasps out, and Tyler moans agreement. His hands tighten in Josh’s hair for a moment, just on the edge of pulling too hard. 

He pulls back suddenly, and Josh feels cool air all along his chest. He doesn’t like it. 

“Can I suck you off?” Tyler asks, sounding nervous and serious, and Josh is pretty sure every molecule of blood in his body is suddenly in his cock. 

“Oh my god,” he manages. “I’m not gonna say _no_.” 

Tyler spends a moment shuffling him around, gracefully dodging broom handles and pressing Josh back against the wall. Then he drops to his knees, simple and unembarrassed, and begins to undo Josh’s pants. He doesn’t even pause when he gets Josh’s pants open, not even bothering to pull them down, just reaching into his boxers and working Josh’s cock out. No, Josh realizes, _now_ is when every blood cell in his body rushes to his cock. He’s not even sure his heart is beating. 

Tyler’s mouth closes around him and then sucks him in, and in, deeper until his mouth brushes where his hand is wrapped around Josh’s cock and he pauses, tongue working. Josh moans, the sound coming from deep in his chest, too loud and unable to stop himself. 

Tyler pulls back a little, begins to bob his head. He’s not perfect, all uneven suction and messy wetness, and it’s hotter for it than Josh thinks anything else ever could be. 

“God, you’re so,” Josh gasps, when he figures out how to make his mouth work, “Fuck, you’re so, so fucking hot, Tyler, _god_.” 

Tyler hums around Josh’s cock and Josh has to bite down to stop himself from screaming. Tyler is just _taking_ him, sucking messy and wet, spit and precum slicking his lips. He looks fucking filthy, cheeks hollow and eyes closed, one hand braced on Josh’s thigh and the other wrapped around the base of Josh’s cock. His hair between Josh’s fingers, unmistakable disarray. He looks pornographic. 

The thought occurs to him and Josh is pulling him to a stop. 

He pulls back with a wet noise and he looks up at Josh. For a long moment Josh is a blink from coming because, holy shit. Tyler with his mouth swollen, red, wet from Josh’s dick. His eyes so dark and shining in the dimness. It takes him making a questioning noise and tilting his head against Josh’s hand in his hair to snap Josh out of it. 

“I want to try something,” Josh breathes. His voice comes out thick, slightly slurred. “If you’re alright with it.” 

“Mmm?” Tyler asks. 

He licks his lips. Josh narrowly avoids coming, again. 

“Fuck, Tyler,” he breathes out, “You gotta stop, you’re too fucking hot.” 

Tyler exhales shakily and his eyes slip down to almost closed, thin glittering slits framed by dark lashes. Josh wants to come on his face. He wants to kiss him. He wants to fuck Tyler’s mouth and then get Tyler off ten times in a row, until Tyler can’t even remember his own name. He wants to tell Tyler how pretty he looks with Josh’s cock in his mouth. 

“Don’t, I mean,” he gets out, instead of all that. “Don’t use your hands. If you’re okay, you know, with that. Let me fuck your mouth.” 

He feels like his cheeks are about to catch fire with how hard he’s blushing by the time he stumbles through the sentence but it’s worth it, for the way Tyler’s teeth are suddenly sinking viciously into his lower lip, his eyes closed now, breath catching. He doesn’t look opposed. Not even close. 

“Tyler, are you-?” Josh begins, because he’s a decent fucking human being and he needs to know if Tyler’s okay with this. He’s interrupted by Tyler’s suddenly relinquishing his grip on Josh’s cock. The movement is enough to have him bucking a little bit, losing focus, trying to force himself back from the edge. 

Tyler’s hands are on his thighs when Josh finally pulls himself together to look. His hands are on his thighs and he’s so hard it looks like it has to be painful, his jeans tented obscenely. Josh almost feels bad but when he looks at Tyler’s face he doesn’t see a trace of discomfort. 

Tyler’s watching him, eyes open again and still so dark. He’s licking his lips again. Josh has never, ever, in his entire life wanted to kiss him so badly. 

“Please,” Tyler says, and opens his mouth. 

Josh moans, way too loud, and tries to get a good grip on Tyler’s hair. It’s hard, his hand is shaking, but he manages. Tyler lets him guide his mouth to Josh’s cock, mouth open. It is, Josh is certain, the best moment of his whole life to date. He’s not sure anything in the entire world can match up to the feeling of the head of his cock smearing precum across Tyler’s lips. 

His mouth is wet and hot and messy, when Josh finally guides himself inside. There’s no finesse in Tyler’s sucking now, just messy spit and Tyler’s tongue and Josh’s hand in his hair. Just Josh, controlling every motion, how deep he goes and how long Tyler’s held there. It’s trust, so much trust, and it fills his chest with heady giddiness. He wants to come. Like, that _second_. 

He breathes, braces an elbow back against the wall, uses the leverage to thrust up into Tyler’s mouth. He takes it, takes it so perfectly, jaw loose and tongue working when Josh thrusts in. He doesn’t even gag and Josh presses forward just a little more, until Tyler’s throat opens up and Josh groans, resisting the urge to thrust himself balls-deep. 

Tyler makes a noise, just the tiniest muffled moan that vibrates through Josh’s cock and Josh looks down. 

Tyler’s mouth is red and wet and his cheeks are hollowed around Josh’s cock. Josh can see his hands on his thighs beyond that, and the erection still pressing painfully against his pants. He’s also, Josh realizes, watching Josh. 

His eyes are open, glittering, trained on Josh’s face. Josh can’t help his noise at that, a thick groan, and his head falls back against the door. He comes, Tyler’s dark eyes the only image in his head. 

Tyler swallows, swallows again, and Josh belatedly remembers to let go of his hair. He stays for long seconds after, though. Licking, cleaning with his tongue, until Josh is hissing with overstimulation, oversensitized cock twitching weakly. He finally pulls back and the way Josh slips down the wall to sit on the ground with Tyler is more the weakness in his knees than Josh would like to admit. 

Tyler has come on his mouth. Just a little bit, barely showing against the soft redness of his lips. He closes his eyes and shudders when Josh reaches out, running a thumb across it. His mouth opens easily when Josh presses a little bit, sucking the come from his fingers gently. Josh can barely breathe for a moment. 

He’s pretty sure nothing in any porn has ever been as hot as this moment, right here, in a janitor’s closet that smells of cleaning chemicals and, faintly, feet. 

“Tyler,” he whispers into the silence and is rewarded by the noise of Tyler’s shaky inhale. 

Tyler’s trembling faintly when Josh pulls out of his mouth and traces his fingers over his cheek to cup his neck. It worsens as he presses his fingers gently in, and Tyler’s head tilts to reveal a pale curve of throat. It’s tantalizing, and Josh wishes suddenly and intensely that he could mark Tyler. Bite down and suck until there was evidence on his skin, until Tyler was a moaning mess under his mouth. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Josh says, and Tyler shudders, eyes opening. He’s still hard, Josh realizes, of course. He hasn’t had a chance to come yet, and he leans forward to reach for Tyler’s erection. 

Tyler bats his hands away, motion so fast it had to have been instinctive, and they freeze for another moment in the darkness. 

“Tyler-?” Josh asks, worried, and then Tyler is running a hand through his hair. The motion is quick and guilty but it isn’t shaking, and Josh isn’t _certain_ but he thinks Tyler’s expression is more embarrassment than fear or discomfort. 

“I like…” Tyler says, and pauses. His cheeks are dark, Josh realizes with a flutter. He’s blushing. “I like waiting. I um, it just… it makes it better?” 

“Oh, god,” Josh says faintly because, wow. Wow, holy shit. He thought he wouldn’t be able to pop another boner for at least a little while but apparently his dick is going to make a _really valiant try_ at it. He doesn’t know whether he wants to kiss Tyler or put his mouth on his cock more. 

“It’s, um, it’s weird right?” Tyler says, and his blush is getting darker than ever. He isn’t meeting Josh’s eyes all of a sudden. “I’m sorry, I-,” 

“Tyler, that is so hot I’m having trouble not coming in my pants,” Josh says. His voice comes out slightly strangled. Josh is just sort of proud of himself for articulating a thought that isn’t _nnnnnrgh_. 

“Jesus,” Tyler says, sounding just as strangled. “Oh, okay, I.” 

He’s still tenting his pants, Josh sees when he looks down. It’s fucking obscene. 

“Can I touch?” he asks quietly, voice breaking. “I mean, just. Just touch, you’re just. It’s so hot.” 

“Oh god,” Tyler breathes, “Yes, just. Just stop when I say. God, Josh, please touch me.”

“I,” Josh manages, and then gives up on words because they are ultimately so much less pressing than putting his hands all over Tyler. 

Tyler moans when Josh runs his fingers over the bulge in his jeans. It’s hot, and so hard, and Tyler bucks a little when Josh presses more firmly. When Josh turns his hand to cup him through his jeans and rub Tyler presses his hand to his mouth. His back is arched, his thighs spread, head back, and he looks so beautiful. Josh wants to kiss every inch of him. 

“Stop, Josh, stop, gonna come,” Tyler groans at last. Josh pulls his hand back instantly. Tyler is panting, body trembling visibly. 

“You’re so,” Josh says, nonsensically. He doesn’t know how to say what he’s feeling. What Tyler looks like. 

“I’m so what?” Tyler asks. His voice is deep and hoarse and ruined. Josh has to breathe for a moment. 

“Just,” he says. “You’re so. You’re fucking obscene, Tyler, you’re. God, you’re beautiful.” 

Tyler moans. It’s so loud Josh is scared for a moment that someone could have heard but when he listens there’s still no sound outside. Tyler’s more absorbing anyway, mouth open, expression vacant and so turned on. 

Silence settles for a minute, then two. Tyler’s panting slowly dies and it takes everything in Josh not to reach out and touch him again. Instead he chooses to get his dick back into his pants and do the button back up. He's not soft anymore, Jesus. He thinks, with a little effort, he could get hard again. 

Possibly not a great idea, at this moment in time. 

“We should go,” Tyler says. He still sounds ruined. Maybe marginally less turned on. “Before the bell rings.” 

“Yeah,” Josh says, and makes no move to get up. He wants to stay here in this smelly closet with Tyler for the rest of his life. 

“I don’t wanna,” Tyler says, a minute later. His voice is petulant, but he’s heaving himself to his feet and reluctantly Josh does too. There’s still barely enough room and Josh knocks a broom over again. He catches it this time, at least. 

“C’mere,” Tyler says, and pulls Josh in for a long kiss. It’s borderline desperate, too much teeth and tongue, and Josh doesn’t want to pull away. He does, though. Now that he’s upright and there’s some blood in his body that isn’t in his dick, he’s remembering how little he wants to be caught. 

“You go first,” he says, and presses a fast, chaste kiss to Tyler’s cheek. “You should uh… probably clean up a little?” 

“Fair enough,” Tyler says dryly, still breathless. 

The hallway is deserted when Tyler steps out and the door swings shut on him looking back over his shoulder at Josh. Josh leans back against the wall of the closet, leans his head back to stare sightlessly at the ceiling, and sighs roughly. He’s pretty sure he’s going to go home and jerk off like, a million times. 

His thoughts are interrupted by the shrill noise of the school bell and he jumps, curses, throws the door open and spills out into the hallway. 

“Well, well, well, Dun,” Brendon says, because of course. 

“Hi, Brendon,” Josh says and shuts the door. 

The hallway is still mostly deserted but Brendon is standing with his hands on his hips a few feet away, the smuggest smile Josh’s ever seen on his face. Spencer is standing behind him, rolling his eyes in a way that makes Josh fairly sure that he’s tolerating Brendon’s antics at this time mostly out of amusement. 

“So _who_ exactly were you getting busy with in there?” Brendon inquires, voice syrup-sweet. Josh shakes his head and turns to walk away. He’s not even going to grace Brendon with a response, honestly. 

“Very rude, Dun,” Brendon calls after him, and Josh can make out the sound of Spencer snorting and dragging away a moment later. 

The smile that spreads across Josh’s face is secret and sweet and uncontrollable. He wonders if Tyler’s willing to come over after school.


	12. eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anon requested continuation of previous drabble so ;) (ps i think you're the same person that requested a continuation last time?? idk man you have excellent suggestions if so you should pick a psued so i can recognize you)

Josh gets home, dumps his backpack on the floor and toes off his shoes, and then thunders up the stairs to his room without pausing to do more than yell a greeting to his mom in the kitchen. She shouts a greeting after him but he doesn’t have time. 

He texts Tyler as soon as the door’s closed behind him, leaning back against the cool plywood and tapping out his message with more force that strictly necessary. 

_can u come ovr??_ he sends and holds his breath. 

A moment later his phone vibrates and he flicks the open message button. 

_mom needs me home :( :( :(_ is the reply and Josh exhales explosively. The bed bounces when he throws himself onto it and he grumbles moodily for a while, punching his pillow with less than total conviction. 

_:(_ he sends back when he’s worked out his moody teenager angst to his satisfaction. 

_sry man, cant do nything abt it :(_ comes Tyler’s reply, nearly instantaneously, followed by _idk man ideas??_

Josh kind of want to jerk off, and he’s staring at his phone when the idea occurs to him. Instantly his cheeks are on fire. 

_phone sex??_ Josh types out, intensely glad that Tyler can’t see how hard he’s blushing. He’s pretty sure he would glow in the dark. He hits send before he can talk himself out of it and then throws the phone onto the other side of the bed, staring at it and pretending he’s not. 

He’s getting hard, he realizes when he shifts around a little bit. It’s the memory of Tyler in the closet, on his knees, hands on his thighs, but also… also the thought of him after, saying wait, saying it made it _better_. Josh can’t even fathom it really, his entire sexual history had always pretty much centered on getting off at every available opportunity, as fast and as often as possible. That kind of self-control is so far beyond him. 

His phone buzzes and he leaps for it. It takes him a moment to figure out that, holy shit, it’s not a text, he’s getting a call, holy _shit_. 

He drops the phone trying to answer the call and only barely manages to answer before it clicks over to voicemail. 

“Um, hey,” he says breathlessly when he’s finally sure he hasn’t accidentally broken his phone. 

“Hey,” Tyler says, and he sounds just as breathless. Uncertain, but excited. Holy shit. 

“Hey,” Josh says again, and then winces. He consider punching himself in the thigh and only holds off on that because he’s distracted by the way Tyler laughs. His heart flips over, as always, as he’s come to expect when his boyfriend does anything at all. God, he’s fucking whipped and he loves it. 

“So,” Tyler says breathlessly. Josh hears him rustle around for a moment, the sound of cloth moving. Tyler must be in his room, on his bed. The knowledge goes through him like white heat. 

“You um, you got my text,” Josh says redundantly, because he is still an idiot and a massive loser. At least Tyler doesn’t laugh at him this time. Instead he breathes in, the sound coming through Josh’s phone speakers static-filled and shaky. Josh presses his palm to his cock, which is so close to fully hard he has to hiss and massage it for a moment. 

There’s silence for a long moment. 

“I want to,” Tyler says at last. “But, um, can I-,” his voice breaks and Josh’s cock twitches with it. “I don’t. I can come over tomorrow since it’s the weekend, can I.” 

“Oh my god,” Josh says, nearly involuntary. His voice comes out choked up and he’s now blindingly, achingly hard. 

“Yeah,” Tyler says with a nervous-sounding giggle. Josh can see the look on his face, the way he’d peek out of the corner of his eyes, the blush. Fuck, _fuck_ , so fucking hot. “Can I um, can I wait?” 

“Holy shit,” Josh says succinctly and nearly rips his jeans undoing the button. “Holy shit, Tyler, Tyler, oh my god yes, oh my god.” 

“Josh,” Tyler says and Josh nearly drops the fucking phone because Tyler sounds so close to ruined already. His voice is cracking. His name had come out a moan. 

“Can you touch yourself?” Josh asks breathlessly, tucking his phone onto the pillow by his ear and yanking desperately at his pants. Of all fucking days to wear a belt, honestly. The universe hates him, Josh is so sure. 

Except he has Tyler, so. Maybe not. 

Tyler moans, and there is no mistaking that noise. Josh has memorized it, thinks about it all the time, would know it blind in a crowd. It’s the noise Tyler makes when Josh touches his cock after kissing him for so long he’s panting for it, when he can’t keep it in anymore. 

“You’re touching yourself right now,” Josh realizes, and his voice comes out blank with shock. His cock jerks. He is, possibly, going to hell. 

“Yes,” Tyler says, moans, “Just, just a little, I can’t. I won’t come, I just. It feels really good, Josh.” 

There’s a drawn out rustle of cloth. Josh imagines Tyler arching against his sheets. He’s naked, in Josh’s mind, a hand on his cock moving so, so slowly because he’s _waiting_. Waiting for _Josh_. Josh can see it all, knows the way Tyler’s cock flushes and curves up against his stomach. Knows the barely-there muscles of Tyler’s body, knows the way the strain of not-coming must be pulling him tight. 

“God, you’re so,” Josh swears, and wraps his hand around his cock. His movements have to finesse, rough and fast and too tight and he hadn’t even spit on his hand. It’s dry and painful. It feels too fucking good anyway, so much it has him moving on his sheets too. 

“I, Josh,” Tyler says, voice breaking. “Talk to me, I need-,” 

“Fuck,” Josh says, low and grunted, letting go of his cock to spit on his palm. It feels even better when he does, the motion slicker now, still friction and almost too much. “You’ve got no idea what you’re doing to me, Tyler, god.” 

“Tell me, please, Josh, please,” Tyler says. The sounds of rustling cloth haven’t subsided, not at all and Josh groans from deep in his chest. 

“Tyler,” he says, and he’s so turned on he can’t think straight. He can’t filter, everything pouring out of his mouth at once. “God, you get me so hard, just thinking about you right now, I can’t. Fuck, Tyler, you make me fucking _crazy_ I want you so badly, I want to touch you, I want, shit.” 

He cuts himself off and shifts the rhythm of his hand. He’s sprinting for the edge, orgasm coming fast and hard. 

Tyler whimpers, high and needy and so turned on. His breathing is jagged and noisy, and the rustling hasn’t stopped. It’s gotten faster, actually. 

“I want to come,” he whispers a beat later, and Josh moans. He’s going to come, he’s going to come in another second. 

“No,” he grits out, because Tyler had said he wanted to wait, he’d _said_. “You have to wait, like you said, fuck, _Tyler_.” 

“God,” Tyler chokes out and abruptly the rustling noises on his end of the line _stop_. 

Holy shit. 

Josh has exactly a second to appreciate that he’d said stop and then Tyler _had_ before he’s coming, sharp waves of pleasure, his back arching, fingers tightening around his phone. He’s crying out, he’s dimly aware, a soft broken noise of pleasure. 

When he comes back to himself Tyler’s breathing in his ear. It’s jagged, rough, and when Josh breathes out he makes the tiniest noise in response. 

“You okay?” Josh whispers, because holy shit, holy _shit_. 

“Mhmm,” Tyler says, sounding strained but pleased. 

Josh’s spent dick twitches again. He squints at it narrowly. He doesn’t know if he can summon the willpower to stop Tyler coming a second time and he’d like his dick to calm the fuck down, please. 

“Jesus, Tyler,” he says. His voice comes out awed. “That was. Jesus.” 

“S’good, Josh,” Tyler hums and he still sounds so close. Josh wants to be there so badly, he wants to be touching him. “So good.”

“You’re gonna come over tomorrow, right?” Josh asks, face going hot. “You have to, I need. Um. Please come over.” 

“Oh god, try and _stop me_ ,” Tyler says, sounding halfway hysterical. His breathing has barely slowed. “I um, I should go. I need a cold shower I think.” 

“Apparently,” Josh says, and then snickers because he just can’t fucking help himself. He just had mind-blowing kinky phone sex with his _boyfriend_. His life is so good it’s actually kind of unfair to other people. For about a second he considers throwing his arms up in the air in a victorious pose but decides it’s probably a bit much. 

“Blow me,” Tyler says snippily, apparently not thinking about what he’s saying. 

“Happily,” Josh says with a cheesy grin and enjoys the stutter of breathing from Tyler. 

“You’re the actual worst, Joshua Dun, and I don’t know why I’m dating you,” Tyler snips. Josh really can’t take offense at his words; his tone is too breathless and insincere. 

“Because I put out,” Josh says breezily and snickers. “Go take your shower, I’ll text you.” 

“Kay,” Tyler hums, and then hangs up. 

Josh sits up and puts his hand directly in a puddle of come. He looks down and discovers there is come on his pants, shirt, and all over his sheets. 

“Well,” he says, and throws his hands up into a victory pose anyway, before starting to wriggle out of the rest of his clothes. He’s got laundry to do.


	13. twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 3/3 of the orgasm denial saga. several of you (including the darling anon with the great suggestions, hope this is satisfactory!) wanted multiple orgasms and lo; i deliver.

Josh doesn’t think he’s going to sleep that night.

He doesn’t think he’s going to sleep ever again, really. He had _kinky phone sex_ with his actual real life no joking around _boyfriend_. He’s got some well-deserved wallowing in smugness to do. Also some jacking off, really, he’s pretty sure he could go for a few years just on the power of the past twenty four hours.

Instead, he’s out like a light as soon as his head hits the pillow, tired out from a day of hanging out with his family and vibrating nervously whenever anyone mentioned anything about relationships, sex, or phones. He doesn't even get the opportunity to get off before he’s out.

-

He wakes up to Tyler crawling into bed with him and he makes a sleepy confused noise because, what?

“Your mom let me in,” Tyler whispers. “Go back to sleep.”

Josh makes a happy noise and shifts to free an arm. Tyler squawks when Josh snags him around the waist and yanks him in but he settles in happily enough. He’s twitchy under Josh’s touch but he calms when Josh runs a hand through his hair, tucking his face into Josh’s pillow and humming. He’s wearing jeans and they’re rough against Josh’s legs when he nudges a thigh sleepily against him.

“Good morning,” he whispers. His voice comes out rough with sleep. Tyler’s flushing when he peeks up.

“Morning,” he says. “Although it’s like noon.”

“Whatever,” Josh hums and lays back, enjoying the warmth of Tyler tucked up under his arm. “It’s the weekend.”

Tyler thrashes for a moment and when Josh cranes his neck to look he’s rested his chin on Josh’s shoulder, so close they’re nose to nose. He’s grinning, eyes bright and sly and so happy. Josh grins back hopelessly, heart flipping over sleepily. He is suddenly, blindingly, desperately happy to be where he is right now, to have Tyler to touch and hold and make smile.

“Hey,” Josh whispers and leans forward to kiss Tyler.

“Hey yourself,” Tyler pulls back long enough to say and then dives back in. The kisses begin gentle but they heat fast, Tyler pressing forward harder, nipping gently at Josh’s bottom lip.

“It’s the weekend,” Tyler mumbles into the bare space between the two of them and it takes Josh a minute to connect the words to their meaning. When he does heat floods through him, arousal chasing away his sleepiness, leaving him gasping and his cock swelling rapidly in his boxers.

Tyler shudders when Josh rolls them, moving under Josh’s body with a groan that sounds suspiciously like relief. He’s hard, Josh discovers. Fully, burningly hot, tenting his jeans under Josh. He shudders when Josh rucks up his shirt and splays a hand over his stomach.

“I don’t know,” he muses jokingly. His voice comes out husky, arousal and the fact that he’d been asleep minutes ago. “Are you done waiting? Are you sure?”

“Josh,” Tyler says, his voice sarcasm and arousal and frustration all rolled into one, “ _please_.”

“Kay,” Josh says breathlessly and leans down to press kisses to the part of Tyler’s neck he can reach with his shirt in the way. Tyler shudders with every contact, fantastically responsive, gasping already. He’s brilliantly red when Josh pulls back, grinning wickedly. “You want to wait longer, or come now?”

Tyler moans, soft and desperate.

“I, um,” Tyler says, eyes flickering sideways and then back to Josh hopefully. “We could do. Both?”

It takes Josh a second to understand and then he sits back on Tyler’s legs, panting. He’s getting so hard so fast he’s actually getting a little lightheaded. Tyler’s cock is tenting his jeans between Josh’s thighs and the only piece of even fleetingly coherent thought in his head is that he wants to put his mouth on it. He puts his hands on Tyler’s hips because he doesn’t know what else to _do_ with them.

“What do you mean?” he asks at last. His voice comes out distressingly high-pitched.

“Done it before,” Tyler explains, sounding strained and heartbreakingly turned on. “S’easy to come, just. Over and over, if you wait long enough.”

“Oh,” Josh says, sharp. He presses his fingers in, feeling the give of muscle beneath the skin of Tyler’s hips.

He spends a minute thinking, watching Tyler watch him, moving his fingers against Tyler’s hips for the sheer pleasure of touching his skin. He wonders, dizzy with arousal, what Tyler means by ‘over and over’. If it means what Josh thinks it means.

“If you come now, you think you could go again?” Josh asks slowly, and Tyler arches up under his hands. He’s breathing in desperate pants, dragging in air like he’s drowning. For a moment Josh thinks he’s too incoherent to answer but then he’s turning his head away, the familiar embarrassment whenever Tyler admits anything to do with sex.

“Yeah,” Tyler says, looking up at Josh from the corner of his eye. “I mean. Yes.”

Josh lets go of Tyler’s hips, lays his hands flat on Tyler’s belly. His muscles are shaking, Josh discovers with interest. Tyler’s got a faint, fine tremble running all through him.

“What's your record?” he asks and Tyler makes a questioning noise. He’s red all the way down his chest, Josh can see where his shirt is pulled aside, but he’s looking at Josh directly now.

“How many times have you gone in a row?” Josh asks and grins when Tyler bucks desperately against his grip. He’s whining, soft and high.

“I, um,” Tyler pants when he’s calmed down enough to speak. “My, um, record. Is four. In um. Five hours?”

He won’t look at Josh when he says it but Josh is almost sort of okay with that. He’s pretty sure the look on his face the stupidest, most awestruck smile he has. His heart is beating way too fast and he’s so hard. Just, so hard.

“Jesus,” Josh says softly, and leans down to mouth at the skin of Tyler’s stomach because he can’t fucking _think_. Tyler’s muscles twitch when Josh traces his tongue gently across them and it’s obvious he’s holding in noises. Josh can feel them, sub-vocal tremors against his mouth.

“I just, Josh,” Tyler says at last, and his voice comes out broken, wrecked. “Josh please, I want to come, please.”

“Yes, yes,” Josh pants against his skin and sits back up, putting a hand on Tyler’s cock _finally_. It’s hot, hard, feels good in Josh’s hand. The noise Tyler makes, desperate and pleased, feels even better. “Get your, shit, get your shirt off.”

Tyler nearly cries out, the attempt to get his shirt off and buck into Josh’s grip at the same time almost too much, but his shirt ends up on the floor eventually. He’s still not as naked as Josh, in just his boxers, but Josh isn’t sure he can wait long enough to get Tyler’s pants off. 

“Gonna make you come,” he hums, fumbling with the button to Tyler’s jeans, “Then I’m gonna come, fuck, and then make you come again, okay?” 

“Christ, I’m not gonna _argue_ with you,” Tyler hisses, sounding almost hysterical. His breath is catching on every other word and both of his hands are gripping Josh’s sheets, white-knuckled and tense. He shudders when Josh finally gets his pants open, cries out when Josh works his pants down. 

His boxers are _soaked_ in precum, Josh discovers. He spends a moment touching with gentle fingertips before Tyler’s noises take on a distinctly annoyed cast and he grins, pulls the boxer gently up and around to free his cock. 

Tyler’s so fucking hard. 

For a long moment Josh just looks because he doesn’t know what he wants to do most. He sort of wants to just get his hand on Tyler but he also wants to suck him off but he also _really_ wants to just rut against Tyler until they both come. 

Instead he reaches out and traces a gentle, inquisitive finger up Tyler’s shaft. The way it makes Tyler cry out – bitten off, and he slaps a hand over his mouth to keep quiet – slams through his gut in a wave of white-hot arousal. 

“You waited so long,” he says quietly, can’t stop smiling because Tyler _had_. He’s moving desperately under Josh, bucking up like he’s going to get friction. “Wanna come now?” 

“ _Yes_ ,” Tyler sobs out. He’s so red, eyes tearing up, mouth wet and red from the vicious way he keeps biting down on his lip. 

“Gonna ask for it?” Josh says, tone lazy despite the way he suddenly can’t pull enough air into his lungs. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, doesn’t have a goddamn clue, but Tyler’s still harder than Josh had thought possible and he’s reaching to wrap shaking fingers around Josh’s free wrist, grip barely there. He’s doing it right, whatever it is Tyler needs. 

“Please, Josh, please,” Tyler begs, voice ruined. “Let, let me come, I need, _please_.” 

“Fuck, yes, yes,” Josh hisses and wraps his hand around Tyler’s cock. 

Tyler cries out, for real, and it’s only the fact that he’d thrown a hand across his mouth and bitten down on his fingers that stops the sound from carrying. Josh would almost be worried but he’s too busy being distracted by the desperate, helpless little bucking thrusts that’s all that Tyler can manage. Barely any friction, and there’s a secret part of Josh that wants to keep Tyler waiting, to see how long he can keep Tyler on the edge. 

_Later_ , he promises himself, he’ll ask Tyler about it later. He’s got the suspicion that Tyler would be all for it. Instead he shifts his grip and starts to jerk Tyler off. 

The angle is awful and Josh’s wrist starts to hurt approximately two seconds in but he’s not gonna fucking stop, not when Tyler is twisting under him like this. When he’s nothing but incoherent syllables and nonsense words, sweat beading and tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. He’s beautiful, wrecked and so beautiful. 

“Come on,” he pants out, “Fuck, Tyler, you’re so-,” 

Tyler bucks hard, head turning away for a moment, eyes squeezing shut. His cock pulses in Josh’s hand and then he comes with a thin noise. It last long seconds and Josh jacks him through it, slow motion that leaves him whimpering, twisting in Josh’s grip. 

“Josh, please,” he finally gasps, hands pushing weakly at Josh’s arm. He stops reluctantly and settles back to look. 

Tyler’s a mess of come and sweat and tears, red-faced and panting, shaking a little bit. He’s beautiful and when he smiles at Josh, wide and sweet and so happy, Josh can’t help a little noise. He leans down, careless of the mess of come on Tyler’s stomach and chest, kisses Tyler so gently. 

“You look really nice,” he whispers against Tyler’s lips and grins when Tyler huffs a breathless little laugh. “But you need to take your pants off.” 

Tyler laughs again, hoarse and breathless, but he starts to shimmy out of his pants when Josh kneels up off of him and pulls his own boxers down. 

God, he’s so turned on right now. He palms his cock, lazy unhurried motion, watching the play of muscles as Tyler wiggles his way out of his pants. Josh wants to tongue every one, wants to bite down, wants to bring Tyler to the point of desperate and panting again. 

Tyler falls back against the sheets, breathless, and looks up at Josh. His breath catches when he sees what Josh’s doing and Josh grins, plays it up a little, speeds the motion of his hand and rolls his hips a little bit with it. He’s rewarded by a helpless little noise from Tyler and the fluttering touch of a hand on his hip. 

Tyler grunts a little when Josh straddles him again, hissing when Josh reaches down to cup his dick with the hand he’s not still lazily jacking himself off with. It twitches, hot and soft in Josh’s hand. 

“You look so good,” Josh hums, sliding his thumb across the head of his dick and rolling Tyler’s balls in his hand. It’s uncoordinated but the way Tyler bucks, the noise he makes, they aren’t disapproving. “You like it when I, uh. When I talk, right?” 

“God, yes,” Tyler gasps out, twisting a little bit. His cock twitches again in Josh’s grip and Josh’s hand speeds up on his own cock. 

“What do you like me saying?” he asks. His voice comes out strained but shit, shit, he loves how Tyler gets off on his words and he wants to say all the right ones. Whatever Tyler wants to hear, whatever it is. 

“I don’t,” Tyler says and then breaks off, moaning as Josh adjusts his grip on Tyler’s cock. It’s swelling a little in his hand, getting hard again, and every time Josh’s hand moves the motion telegraphs all through Tyler’s body. He shakes with it, little involuntary motions of oversensitization. 

“I like,” Tyler recovers, panting and shaking. He’s going red again, cheeks flushing prettily. “I like when you, god. Say nice things?” He moans when Josh thumbs at the head of his cock. “When you say I’m, _fuck_ , you know.” 

“When I say you’re beautiful?” Josh asks, teasing and breathless. He can feel his orgasm coming on, in the tightness in his balls, in the heat gathering in the pit of his stomach. It’s helped by the way Tyler reacts to his words, a full-body twitch and the swell in his cock in Josh’s hand. 

“Yes,” Tyler breathes out, eyes closing. He’s so red. He’s biting down on his bottom lip too, already so red and swollen. Josh sort of wants to bite it too. “And, and when you tell me I’m dirty. But, _uhnn_ … in a good way?” 

“Jesus,” Josh bites out, mostly involuntarily. 

“And when you tell me what, I. What you want to do to me,” Tyler whispers the last part and he’s shaking, trembling beneath Josh. His eyes are closed and he’s flushed and he’s so much, so beautiful and so much. Josh groans and has to wrap his hand around the base of his cock to stop himself coming. 

“Tyler, fuck,” he says, and Tyler opens his eyes to look up at him. “I’m gonna come, Jesus. I’m gonna come on you, okay?” 

“Yes, please, please,” Tyler gasps out and Josh loosens his fist, thrusts up into it and then he’s coming. 

It lands on Tyler’s chest, on the come already smeared there, and Josh sort of wants to take a picture because it’s just about the hottest thing he’s ever conceived of. He’s also pretty sure he’s never going to forget this image ever, in his whole entire life. He’s going to be jacking off to this when he’s _eighty_. 

Tyler, sprawled out, red and sweaty and turned on, shaking with sensitivity. Dark-eyed, covered in come. Lips red and wet and bitten, so hot Josh suddenly wishes he were hard again just so he could fuck that mouth. He leans down and kisses Tyler, a little too fast, a little too much teeth. Tyler moans into it anyway, needy and wanting. He’s half-hard, cock red and firm against his belly. 

Josh pulls back and scrambles down Tyler’s body. He’s breathless, aftershocks and arousal still pooling in his stomach. Tyler’s cock twitches when Josh blows on it gently. There’s precum beading on the head and it’s almost fully hard again. 

“You look so pretty,” he says. It’s breathless and Tyler groans, deep and anguished, hips bucking a little bit. 

He cries out when Josh sucks him into his mouth. He’s soft on Josh’s tongue, salty and heavy and firming the longer he tongues it. Tyler’s hand threads through his hair encouraging. He can’t take it all – he gags a little bit when he tries to go too deep and he has to pull back to pant for a moment – but it’s easy to set a rhythm and bob to it, sucking and licking. It’s wet and messy and the desperate noises from Tyler above him are so, so sweet. 

He’s hard, when Josh finally pulls back and replaces his mouth with his hand, moving slow. He’s hard and the hand in Josh’s hair is shaking and when Josh looks up his body to Tyler’s face it’s a mess of tears and redness. He’s crying a little bit and for a moment Josh has a pang of worry, but then Tyler’s opening his eyes and they’re clear. Dark, deep, full of so much need, but clear. 

“I wanna do this all the time,” Josh whispers to him, and watches his words impact in the way Tyler’s eyes slide shut again, the shudder through his body. “I want my cock in your mouth all the time, god, Tyler, you look so good like that.” 

Tyler bucks and moans. 

“God, I love the way you get off on that,” Josh hums and returns his mouth to Tyler’s cock. 

Tyler cries out, something that sounds almost like a sob. His hands are in Josh’s hair, scrabbling, pulling, always on the edge of too hard but never crossing over. He’s pushing and pulling, trying to pull Josh back one moment and push him down further the next. Josh doesn’t let him, controls the motion, keeps it steady and slow. Pulling back every few minutes to tongue at the head. 

It takes Josh a moment to tune into what Tyler is saying but he does eventually and has to pull back to stop himself choking, mouthing at the head of his cock instead. 

“I’m gonna, Josh, I’m gonna come, you have to-,” Tyler’s saying, choked out and wrecked. He sounds like he’d been the one with Josh’s cock in his mouth, like he had in the closet when Josh had been the one controlling the motion. 

Josh pulls off his cock for a moment – the noise is a wet pop, fucking _obscene_ \- and grins up at him. 

“Come,” he says, low and hoarse. “Come on Tyler, come.” 

Tyler nearly screams when Josh puts his mouth back on his cock and he’s already twitching against Josh’s tongue.

He comes without any warning except a renewed clutch on Josh’s hair. It’s a rush of bitterness in Josh’s mouth, hot and salty-bitter and thick, and he swallows mostly just to get the taste gone. Tyler’s cock twitches weakly when Josh tongues it a final time and then he slides off. Lays his head against Tyler’s thigh for a moment and just looks. Tyler’s shaking, trembling under Josh’s cheek. He shivers when Josh heaves himself up and flops down next to him, turning over to press his face into Josh’s chest. 

For a moment he’s worried but then Tyler’s peeking up at him. His grin is watery and he’s still flushed but the way he leans up to press a kiss to Josh’s mouth is nothing but happy. 

“Jesus, Josh, that was…” he breathes and trails off, pressing another soft kiss to Josh’s mouth. Josh can’t stop himself palming Tyler’s side, stroking him, ignoring the spunk and sweat. His skin is soft and his muscles tremble when he tries to move, exhaustion and oversensitivity. 

“Was it good?” Josh asks anxiously. Tyler huffs a laugh and when he pulls back for Josh to see he’s rolling his eyes. 

“Shouldn’t even have to ask,” he mumbles and leans up for more kisses. They trail off into quiet breathing and Josh lets his head settle back on the pillow. 

He almost wants to overthink things but he’s too comfortable, too warm and wrapped up in Tyler’s clinging arms, the smell of them. They smell kind of rank, actually, now that Josh thinks about it, but whatever. He’ll get up in a bit and get them some wipes or something. Maybe some Febreeze. 

He leans his head up to ask Tyler if he wants to go clean up and discovers that Tyler’s fallen asleep, cradled against Josh’s side. 

Josh settles back with a grin that’s so wide it hurts and closes his eyes. It can’t hurt to sleep a few more hours.


	14. thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an absolutely adorable anon by the psued jushdon requested a cute meeting the parents drabble, and lo i deliver. i hope this is okay!

“So, hey,” Josh says, leaning against the kitchen counter. 

“Hey is for horses,” Josh’s mom says without looking up from her careful garlic mincing. 

Josh opens his mouth and then closes it. Shuffles his feet, into and out of his sneakers. They’re dirty and worn-out and loose enough to slip his heel into and out of with barely any effort at all. He keeps his eyes on his wiggling toes and so doesn’t really notice his mother’s dumped the garlic into her mixing bowl until a garlic-scented arm has wrapped around him and he’s being drawn into a tight hug. 

“What’s up, sweetpea?” she asks, and laughs when he gives a half-hearted huff of disapproval at the nickname. She knows he’s faking, and he knows she knows, so it all works out. Somehow. Josh is a teenager, okay, he’s gotta keep up his image. 

“You remember like, a few weeks ago? When I said I had a crush?” he mumbles into her shoulder. Laughter rumbles through her and shakes her shoulder under his face. 

“Vaguely,” she says and pulls back a little. She keeps her hands on his shoulders and when Josh resumes looking down at his feet she ducks a little to try to see his face. It’s so dorky he giggles and looks up to meet her eyes. 

She looks kind of worried but mostly exasperated and just like his mom. He can’t keep secrets, not from his mom. Not ones that are this big and important. He loves her too much, trusts her too much. 

“We started dating,” he says in a rush, so fast she cocks her head for a moment to process. When she understands her whole face lights up in a way that makes Josh smile too. Nervous, but there. 

“Oh, hon, that’s amazing! Who is she, what’s she like?” she demands, shaking Josh a little bit, and just like that his smile is gone again. 

It’s not like he thinks his mom is going to disown him. Probably not, more than likely not, almost certainly not. His mom is the best mom in the world, he knows this, and loves him more than anyone except his siblings. Maybe. 

“Uhm,” he says awkwardly, and his mom smiles at him expectantly. It feels kind of like Josh can’t breathe, like his ribcage isn’t expanding or something. Which is weird because he isn’t sick and he feels fine otherwise. 

His mom nods encouragingly. 

“He’s, uh,” he says, “It’s Tyler. You know. From school.” 

There’s just a second where his mom’s hands slacken on his shoulder and there’s a flicker in her eyes, something like surprise, and it feels a little bit like his heart is trying to tear itself in half. 

And then she’s hugging him again, tighter than ever, so tight all the air goes out of him in a great _whoosh_. She laughing, a little breathlessly herself, and Josh is laughing too. He thinks he’s tearing up a little bit. His eyes feel a little wet when she pulls back at last, shaking him again, grinning so wide it’s almost comical. 

“Oh, Josh, baby, I’m so proud of you!” she says, and puts her hands on his cheeks. He’s flushing, he can feel the heat in his cheeks. “He seems like such a nice boy, and I can tell he makes you happy.” 

“He does, mom,” Josh mumbles, and his mom laughs again, pressing a kiss to his forehead. 

“You know what this means, right?” she demands, letting go to grab the mixing bowl off the counter and shove it into Josh’s arms. It’s full of dough for cheesy garlic biscuits and he accepts the spoon he’s handed a moment later. He’s a little dazed but there’s an expansive feeling of relief blooming in his chest that makes him smile so, so wide. 

“What?” he asks belatedly, waving his spoon a little bit awkwardly in the air. His tongue feels clumsy. 

“Stir that til it’s even,” his mom directs and turns to a pile of carrots with her knife. “You’re going to invite him over to dinner, of course, I have to meet him.” 

“Mom!” he cries, aghast, sticking the spoon into the dough and starting to stir it. It’s thick and he has to work to drag the spoon through it. 

“Hush now,” she admonishes without looking. “It’s your parent’s God-given right to interrogate your boyfriend, don’t take that from us.” 

“I’m going to have to tell Dad,” Josh sighs, turning the dough again. The little thrill of fear is back, tight and sharp in his throat. 

“He’ll be fine with it,” his mom says, smiling over her shoulder at him, pausing in her clever knifework. “Maybe a little surprised, but he loves you.” 

“I know,” Josh says, because he does. The fear’s not gone, but it’s quiet again and Josh smiles at his mom. It’s mostly real and she goes back to chopping. 

“He’s not like… out, to his parents yet,” he says a few minutes later. The dough is mostly smooth and he focuses on that instead of his mom’s expression. 

“Oh,” his mom says quietly, a few moments later. 

“I don’t think they’re homophobic or anything,” Josh says hastily, nearly flipping dough out of his bowl in his rush to gesture expansively. “He’s just not ready to be out, with school and everything.” 

His mom stares at him for a long time. He sort of expects judgement but she’s gentle, smiles a little bit after a moment and turns back to her carrots. 

“I trust you, hon,” she says. “Be careful with that dough, okay?” 

Josh turns back to his stirring. He’s smiling and he can’t stop.

-

His dad responds to his reveal with a squint and then a shrug.

“Your mom’s invited him over for dinner, I take it?” he asks, and chuckles when Josh sheepishly tells him she has. “Just like her. Alright then, I’ll get to ask him all the embarrassing questions.” 

“ _Dad_ ,” Josh says, long-suffering, and the relief when his dad just laughs at him is palpable.

-

“So I told my parents, about us,” he tells Tyler over the phone later that night. The other end of the line is quiet for a long time, static and breathing. Faster than Josh likes, almost panic-fast, not quite there yet.

“…And they’re okay with it?” Tyler asks at last. 

He sounds scared. Scared and confused, and Josh wishes acutely he could be holding Tyler right now. He hadn’t thought to ask Tyler if it was okay to come out, just known he couldn’t keep secrets from his mom. Not this kind of secret, not one this important. 

“They’re fine with it,” he hastens to say, and aches a little bit at the explosive sigh of relief from Tyler. “They won’t mention it around town or anything, if you’re worried about that.” 

“Oh, that’s good,” Tyler says, tone so relieved. Josh sighs through his nose and turns over on his side. 

“Are your parents…” he asks, as delicately as he’s able. 

There’s the faint rustle of cloth from Tyler’s end. The sound of a shrug, jerky and sharp. 

“Don’t know,” Tyler says, sounding thick and choked up. “I think they’d be like, cool with it. They love me, you know? But it’s still, like… it’s scary.” 

“It’s okay,” Josh says gently, and listens to Tyler’s breathing slow for a moment or two. He wants to be there, with Tyler. To feel his pulse slow through his skin, press kisses to Tyler’s hands and wrists and shoulders and mouth until all Tyler can think about is the moment he’s in. Until the fear is pushed back to the place Josh knows it haunts in Tyler’s head. 

“Sorry,” Tyler says at last. His voice sounds scratchy. “I’m just. You know.” 

“Yeah,” Josh says, because he does know. 

It’s quiet for a long while. Josh’s pretty content to just listen to Tyler’s breathing, almost back to normal, until he abruptly remember why he’d called in the first place. 

“You’re invited to dinner, by the way,” he says, and Tyler _squawks_. It’s a shrill, harsh noise of surprised and Josh laughs. 

“Jeez, Josh,” Tyler wheezes after a beat of coughing. “I mean, oh my god, what? Do I say yes? What? Will your parents like me?” 

“Yes, you say yes, you dork,” Josh laughs, because the fear in Tyler’s voice is just nerves, nothing like panic. The kind of thing he can laugh at. “You come over tomorrow night and my parents will embarrass me a lot and ask you some dumb questions and then we can go sneak up to my room and make out. It’ll be fun. They’ll love you, Tyler, I know they will.” 

“Oh, god,” Tyler says, sounding strangled and scandalized. “What do I _wear?_ ” 

Josh feels a little bit bad about how much he laughs at that one.

-

Tyler shows up at Josh’s door at five minutes to eight and he’s wearing the clothes Josh had finally managed to suggest through his gales of laughter and Tyler’s squeaky protests. Nice jeans and a decent shirt, because his parents love Tyler already and anyway Josh is man enough to admit to himself he’d probably find Tyler attractive in a trash bag.

“I’m scared,” Tyler has time to whisper to Josh before Josh’s mom is descending on Tyler. There’s a flurry of hugs, cheek-kisses, loud exclamations of how handsome Tyler is that make his cheeks turn a lovely tomato shade. Josh’s dad stands at the end of the hall, arms crossed but grin wide, hardly intimidating at all. 

“Call me Bill,” he introduces himself with a hearty grin and shakes Tyler’s hand. Tyler stares at him with wide eyes for a beat too long and then laughs nervously. 

“Tyler, um, but. You know that. Sir,” he says, and Josh’s dad bellows with laughter. 

“I like him,” he directs to Josh, and then proceeds into the dining room. 

All of Josh’s siblings are trickling in from all over the house, peering at Tyler with utter disinterest. Tyler tucks himself under Josh’s arm anyway and Josh snickers as he steers them into the dining room after his dad. Tyler’s shaking a little bit but he’s smiling with watery enthusiasm and he takes the seat Josh pulls out for him with good grace. 

“Such a gentleman,” Josh’s sister mocks, and then rolls her eyes when Josh stick his tongue out at her. That’s the end of any commentary from his siblings, and anyway his mom is bustling in with chicken and pots full of sides and in the chaos of serving everyone awkwardness just seems to… fall away. 

“So you go to school with Josh, right?” Josh’s mom asks when everyone’s settled in to eat. 

“Yes ma’am,” Tyler says hastily, setting down the biscuit he’d been about to bite into. “Same year.” 

“Eat,” she admonishes gently, and Tyler obediently picks up the biscuit again. He’s staring at Josh’s mom with something like awe and Josh has a momentary thread of thought, a joke about Tyler falling in love with his mom. He waves it away mentally, grinning. 

“So what do you do for extracurriculars?” Josh’s dad puts in when Tyler’s managed a few bites of his chicken. 

Dinner passes in a series of mild heart attacks on Tyler’s part and more embarrassing stories about Josh’s childhood than Josh thinks are quite fair. Tyler listens to them all with an amazed smile and when they’ve both mostly finished he sneaks a hand into Josh’s under the table. 

Josh smiles down at his plate and feels his cheeks flush like a total loser. Whatever, he’s a loser for Tyler. He knew that already. 

Dinner is finished and cleared away and Josh’s dad sits back at last, crossing his arms behind his head. He’s grinning at Josh and Tyler in a way that Josh is not certain he likes. 

“I think it’s time to let the kids go,” he says to Josh’s mom, who rolls her eyes. 

“Go on,” she says to Tyler and Josh, “I’ll take care of the dishes tonight. And keep the door open, Joshua Dun!” she calls after them. 

Josh is tugging Tyler along halfway up the stairs by the time she finishes speaking. 

“Okay, jeez!” he calls back, feeling himself flush. Tyler looks like a tomato when Josh glances back at him but he’s smiling so wide his eyes are crinkling and Josh smiles back helplessly. His heart is fluttering, over and over, adrenaline without the urgency. 

Tyler hovers by the bedside table for a moment when they get to Josh’s room and Josh proceeds to kick the door mostly shut and tackle him onto the bed. 

Tyler shouts and fights the tickling Josh launches with gentle hands, clumsy and laughing. They’re more rolling around on top of the covers and digging fingertips in than anything but Josh doesn’t want to stop, not ever. When they finally roll to a stop, nose to nose and legs tangled together, his heart is beating doubletime and he’s still grinning so wide. 

“That was fun,” Tyler whispers to him, tone half-surprise and half-pride. “I think they like me.” 

“They love you,” Josh corrects and wiggles closer to brush his nose against Tyler’s. It’s so cute Josh wants to gag a little bit and he loves it. 

“I like them,” Tyler says with a smile. Josh hums agreement and tilts his head up a little bit, hoping for kisses. He’d kicked the door as shut as it is – riskily, his mom is going to be very sarcastic about it when she inevitably comes up to check on them, but so worth it – for a reason. 

Tyler doesn’t seem to notice, eyes far away. 

“Tyler,” Josh says. 

“They’re really cool,” Tyler muses, apparently not hearing Josh. His fingertips are drumming a little on Josh’s hip. It sends a little thrill through Josh and leaves his breath hitching ever so slightly. 

Tyler doesn’t notice that either. 

“Tyler,” Josh says, and Tyler blinks at last, focusing on Josh. He has to go a little cross-eyed to do it and it’s not his finest look. Josh thinks it’s cute as hell anyway. 

“Are you going to kiss me or what,” Josh asks patiently. 

Tyler spends a good minute laughing at him before he finally closes the distance to press a soft, warm kiss to Josh’s mouth but Josh is okay with that. He’s kind of a fan of Tyler’s laughter.


	15. nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my lovely serial anon requester suggested first time orgasms and the absolutely stunning [Hipstersandprettyboys](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Hipstersandprettyboys/pseuds/Hipstersandprettyboys) requested stoned singing so i decided to smash the two together for m a x i m u m g a y. enjoy xoxo
> 
> EDIT: i won't be uploading any more chapters to this story and probably won't be writing joshler anymore. this isn't to do with the joshler community on ao3; you've all been absolutely lovely! the skeleton clique isn't a place i feel comfortable anymore. i'd appreciate it if you didn't request any more, or mention this on other fics/on my blogs. thank you for understanding.

Josh is so high. 

So high. 

“Dude, I’m so high,” he says to Tyler, who hums agreement and exhales a cloud of thin smoke. 

Josh watches the smoke thread through the air. He kind of wants to reach out and touch it, but when he does it vanishes and he finds he’s threaded his hands through Tyler’s hair instead. He grins. He likes this better, anyway

Tyler turns his head lazily into Josh’s hand and presses a kiss to Josh’s palm that shouldn’t make Josh’s breath catch the way it does. 

“So high,” Josh breathes, but he’s not paying attention to his words. He’s absorbed in the way Tyler’s hair catches the afternoon sun when it sifts through his fingers. The way Tyler’s absent hum of agreement feels against his skin. He has to move his palm to Tyler’s cheek, tilt his head up to press a clumsy kiss to his mouth. 

There’s a moment where the kiss is chaste. Where there’s nothing behind it but the way Tyler’s face makes his heart flutter, but then there’s a brief flicker of tongue, wet and shocking. It’s hot and slick and in a moment the kisses is fucking filthy. Josh is learning that when they’re alone, when it’s just the two of them together, Tyler kisses like he’s desperate for it. Sloppy and wet and so good. 

Josh is suddenly so dizzyingly hard he can’t _see_ straight. 

He has to pull back for a moment just to breathe, harsh and panting already. Tyler stares at him, hand upraised, still holding the pipe. 

“Tyler,” he says, and Tyler blinks, leans over to set the pipe on the bedside table. His shirt rides up with the motion and Josh presses his fingers to the strip of skin revealed. It’s hot, a little sweaty, slick and soft under Josh’s hand. Tyler shivers when Josh moves his fingers and so he does it again, moves his hand up Tyler’s side and pulls his shirt up with it. 

Tyler’s eyes are closed, when Josh finally stops being so absorbed with the way the skin over Tyler’s ribs feels. His eyes are closed and his cheeks are pink and his mouth is open, and he looks so fucking filthy Josh’s cock pulses in his jeans. 

“Tyler?” he asks, because he should, he knows he should even though what he wants more than anything is to kiss him. 

Tyler’s eyes open slowly, dark and hot and focusing on Josh torturously slowly. He closes his mouth, licks his lips, and smiles. It sends heat prickling through Josh so that he has to gasp, has to reach out and press fingertips to the soft pink of his mouth. 

“Yeah, I,” Tyler says, stoned-slow, eyes closing at Josh’s touch. “I want, Josh, I want you.” 

He yelps a little when Josh grabs him by the waist and hauls him over, all desperation and no finesse at all. It dissolves into giggling, high-pitched and enough to make Josh’s heart flutter in his chest, so he has to kiss him. It’s barely a kiss, more a mouthing at Tyler’s jaw because Josh can’t stop laughing either. 

Tyler settles into place over Josh, half on top of him, legs tangling together. For a moment Josh doesn’t think, concentrates on kisses and the soft touches to Tyler’s waist and ribcage that have him sighing into Josh’s mouth. 

And then a brush against Tyler’s side has him squirming, just a little, and he becomes aware of Tyler’s cock pressing against his hip and he loses his breath for a moment. He grabs without thinking, grips Tyler’s hips for a moment and sinking into the soft give of his body. It leads naturally to sliding a hand over Tyler’s ass, pressing his fingers in and squeezing, and it’s only when Tyler’s head drops forward to rest against his shoulder that he realizes he hasn’t done this before. That he isn’t sure Tyler wants him to. 

He hesitates for a split second. Tyler answers his uncertainty with a groan, thick and low. Arches his back, a slow and filthy roll of his hips that rocks his cock against Josh in a long drag and presses his ass up into Josh’s hand. 

It’s an invitation if Josh’s ever seen one. 

Tyler moans when Josh grabs again, presses his fingers in, squeezing just to feel the give under his hands. It’s a sharp noise, bitten-off and high-pitched, and Tyler muffles it by pressing his face into Josh’s shoulder. He’s panting, hot and damp through Tyler’s shirt. 

“Tyler?” Josh gasps, because he’s still so fucking high. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Tyler mumbles into his shirt and rolls his hips again, rapid and desperate. “Oh god, _yeah_.” 

“Oh god,” Josh echoes, and rolls his own hips up shallowly to meet Tyler’s. He has no leverage, manages only weak thrusting, but it rock his erection into Tyler’s stomach through his shorts and that’s enough. He’s going to come from this, and fast, need coiling thick and hot and tight in his gut. He wants to come so fucking badly. 

Tyler gasps when Josh presses gentle teeth into his neck. It’s sharp, bitten off, and the rolling of his hips stutters for a moment before resuming. Frantic, desperate. Rocking motion translating perfectly to Josh’s aching dick. Faster than before, and he really _isn’t_ going to last. It’s just a matter of whether he can get Tyler off first. 

It takes a moment to work out how but he shifts, moves his hands to cup Tyler’s ass more fully. It’s worth it for the dirty grind he pulls Tyler into, a bodily motion that forces a sharp, panting cry from Tyler, has him dropping to rest his mouth against Josh’s neck. He doesn’t stop, works his hips up into a series of shallow grinding motions until Tyler’s back arches and he cries out again. 

Tyler comes with a sweet, sweet noise and Josh wishes he weren’t so far gone so he could remember it better. It’s the hottest fucking thing, Tyler shaking against him, hands fisting in his shirt and the sheets. Enough to bring him right up to the edge. 

“Josh,” Tyler pants out when he finally settles, boneless. “Fuck, _Josh_.” 

Josh coughs out a groan and comes. 

It lasts for what feels like a lifetime, waves of pleasure that makes his eyes roll back a little. Arches his spine up, pressing his twitching cock into Tyler’s body. It feels so good, so fucking good, and it takes him an age to come down. For the little twitching, pulsing aftershocks to slow and gentle into soft afterglow. Into the nuzzling pressure of the little kisses Tyler is pressing against his shoulder. 

“Oh my god,” he mumbles dazedly, because holy _shit_. His first Tyler-adjacent orgasm. Jesus. He’s not sure how to _process_ this. 

“Jesus, Josh,” Tyler mumbles against his cheek, and Josh nods agreement. Jesus. 

Tyler breathes into the hollow of Josh’s collarbone. His pants are sticky and uncomfortable, filled with cooling jizz. It’s honestly disgusting but he doesn’t want to move. Not until Tyler makes him. In fact, he pulls him closer despite the disgusting squishing feeling in his pants. It’s no big deal, he’s totally willing to suffer for his lover or whatever. 

Eventually Tyler heaves upright. He’s red and he won’t meet Josh’s eyes but he’s grinning down at his hands on Josh’s chest. 

“I’m, uh,” he says. “I made a little bit of a mess. Can I, um. Clean it up?” 

Josh snickers and Tyler blushes brighter. 

“Yeah, bathroom’s across the hall,” he says and watches in open amusement the way Tyler waddles awkwardly to the door. Tyler flips him off; he giggles even harder. 

Josh himself doesn’t even bother; it’s _his room_ , he’s got boxers in it, it’s the work of a moment to strip off the wet, sticky ones and pull on a new pair. He’d totally have offered Tyler a pair of his own but he’d been so determined to clean up himself that Josh just hadn’t had the heart. 

Tyler is bright red when he comes back out and he’s not wearing his shirt, holding it bunched up in his hand instead. There’s a moment when Josh is honestly scared it’ll be awkward but when Josh reaches out hesitantly Tyler takes his hand like it isn’t even a question. Josh pulls him onto the bed and tucks him determinedly under his chin. He’s gonna cuddle the hell out of Tyler. It’s his god-given right as Tyler’s boyfriend. 

“I can hear you being smug,” Tyler snipes without lifting his head. Josh grins up at the ceiling. 

“Can you blame me?” he asks lazily and Tyler turns his face into Josh’s chest with a snort. Quiet lapses again. 

He drifts for a while, on the secret glow in his chest that being around Tyler always gives him and the remains of his high. It takes him a few minutes to even hear the noise and a few minutes after that to realize what it is. 

Tyler’s humming, Josh realizes belatedly. It sounds good, though Josh’s experience is strictly limited. 

“What’re you humming?” he asks quietly and Tyler twitches like he hadn’t realized he’d been doing it. He’s a sudden line of tension against Josh’s side. 

“Oh, uh,” he says, and Josh cranes his neck to see that Tyler’s pink, rubbing his nose awkwardly with a hand. It’s endearingly stupid looking and Josh grins. “Sorry, I’ll stop.” 

“No, it sounded…” Josh trails off and threads his hand through Tyler’s hair. He tugs a little and the tension starts to go out of Tyler. “It sounded good. You should sing for me.” 

“Loser,” Tyler snorts, and Josh shrugs. As if everyone in the world doesn’t already know, honestly. Josh is not subtle, he is aware. 

“Still,” he says lazily, running his hand through Tyler’s hair again. 

“Fine,” Tyler huffs, though the pink in his cheeks and the pleased expression gives him away. He pauses to hum for a moment, tuneless and deep in thought. 

“Why do you build me up,” Tyler sings at last, “Buttercup baby, just let me down, and mess me around-,” 

Josh frowns because that hadn’t been the tune Tyler had been humming at all. The sound had been familiar, the melody something Josh had definitely heard around before. He lets it go after a moment, relaxes into the sound of Tyler’s voice and the feeling of skin under his fingertips, acres of it he can touch and touch. Tyler’s voice is a little crackly but strong, sweet. He wonders suddenly if maybe Tyler would like to see him play drums sometime. 

It’s only later, when Tyler’s gone home, that Josh remembers a scrap of the melody Tyler had hummed at first and a fragment of the lyrics to go along with it. 

“ _Wise men say,_ ” he hums to himself, quietly because he’s not really much of a singer. “ _Only fools rush in…_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONGS:  
> [Build Me Up Buttercup](https://youtu.be/3P8H-jBy84g?t=114)  
> [Can't Help Falling In Love](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ThQkrXHdh4)


End file.
